關於 wake-up call意味 ，我們在網路上蒐集到這些相關的討論、資訊與評價

愛情36「題」❤️

讓陌生人迅速相愛的36個問題

Time to fall in love?

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《紐約時報》報導:

曼迪·萊恩·卡特隆(Mandy Len Catron)為「現代愛情」專欄寫了一篇文章《如何快速與陌生人相愛》，她在文中提到心理學家阿瑟·亞倫(Arthur Aron)等人的研究成果：兩個陌生人之間的親密關係或許可以通過彼此詢問一些特別的個人化問題而快速升溫。這36個問題分為三組，一組比一組來得尋根究底。

這個理論的核心是，共同的脆弱能促進親近感。這項研究的作者們稱：「同伴之間發展親密關係的關鍵模式在於持續、逐步升級、相互且個人化的袒露自我。」允許自己和另一個人共享脆弱可能非常困難，下面這個練習能迫使你做到這一點。

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Set I 第一組 ❤️

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

如果可以在世界上所有人中任意選擇，你想邀請誰共進晚餐？

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

你想成名嗎？想以什麼方式成名？

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

打電話之前你會先排練一下要說什麼嗎，為什麼？

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

對你來說，「完美」的一天是什麼樣的？

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

你上次自己唱起歌來是在什麼時候，給別人唱呢？

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

如果你能活到90歲，同時可以一直保持30歲時的心智或身體，你會選擇保持哪一種呢，心智還是身體？

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

你是否曾經秘密地預感到自己會以怎樣的方式死去？

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

說出三件你和你的伴侶看上去相同的特徵。

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

人生中的什麼東西最令你感激？

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

如果你能改變被撫養成人過程中的一件事，會是哪一件。

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

花四分鐘時間，儘可能詳細告訴伴侶你的人生經歷。

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

如果你明天一覺醒來就能擁有某種才能或能力，你希望那會是什麼能力呢？

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Set II 第二組 ❤️❤️

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

如果有一個水晶球可以告訴你關於自己、人生，未來乃至任何事情的真相，你會想知道嗎？

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

有沒有什麼事是你一直夢想去做而沒有去做的，為什麼沒有做？

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

你人生中最大的成就是什麼？

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

在一段友誼之中你最珍視的是什麼？

17. What is your most treasured memory?

你最寶貴的記憶是什麼？

18. What is your most terrible memory?

你最糟糕的記憶是什麼？

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

假如你知道自己在一年內就會突然死去，你會改變現在的生活方式嗎？為什麼？

20. What does friendship mean to you?

友誼對於你來說意味着什麼？

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

愛與情感在你生活中扮演着什麼樣的角色？

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

和你的伴侶輪流說出心目中對方的一個好品質，每人說五條。

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

你的家人之間關係是否親密而溫暖，你覺得自己的童年比其他人更快樂嗎？

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

你和母親之間的關係是怎樣的？

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Set III 第三組 ❤️❤️❤️

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ... “

每人用「我們」造三個句子，並含有實際情況，比如「我們倆在屋子裡，感覺……」

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “

補完這個句子：「我希望和某人在一起，分享……」

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

如果你想和對方成為親近的朋友，請告訴對方有什麼重要的事情是他或她需要知道的。

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

告訴對方你喜歡他或她身上的什麼東西，要非常誠實，說些你不會對萍水之交說的東西。

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

和對方分享生命中那些尷尬的時刻。

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

你上次在別人面前哭是什麼時候？自己哭呢？

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

告訴對方，你已經喜歡上了他或她身上的什麼品質。

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

你覺得什麼東西是嚴肅到不能開玩笑的，假如有的話。

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

如果你今晚就將死去，而且沒有機會同任何人聯絡，你會因為之前沒有對別人說什麼話而感到遺憾，你為什麼到現在都沒有對他們說這些話呢？

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

假設你擁有的全部東西都在你的房子里，現在房子着了火，救出家人和寵物之後，你還有機會安全地衝進去最後一次，取出最後一件東西，你會拿什麼，為什麼？

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

你的家人中，誰去世了會令你最難過，為什麼？

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

說出一件你的個人問題，問對方如果遇到此事要如何解決。另外，也要讓對方如實告訴你，在他或她眼中，你對於這個問題的感受是怎樣的。

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❤️ 看完這些問題後，會想到哪一部愛情片? ❤️

Tag someone who needs these questions~

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完整報導: https://nyti.ms/3z5eep9

圖片出處: https://bit.ly/3uYjIie

TED影片: https://bit.ly/3cn9jWC

《親密戲導演》

American Theatre，2018年11月號。
《演員的親密戲》

擷自內文：
「性愛場景，如同設計武打場，或是舞蹈動作一般，需要同樣細心編排的動作設計，特別是在這個 #MeToo時代。 」

「我在研究所時期也是演員，所以我有親身體驗—那種來自同事的不恰當經驗，一起跟我上台的人，或是導演完全不知道該怎麼處理這些(親密戲)場景，所以他們索性就完全不處理。」Sina說 「如果你有一個比較年長的導演，碰到親密戲他會跟你們說:你們就做吧，就試看各種可能。所以你們就開始在性愛場景中即興，這是非常不舒服的經驗，而且大多數時候非常令人受傷。」

「親密戲的指示，從來沒有在演員Emily與她的女搭檔編排動作設計遇到困難時出現(她們當時在編排一個充滿戲劇衝突的雙人愛情戲)，即使Emily之前演過同性間的愛情戲，她仍然發現自己舉步維艱， 而她的導演除了不斷對著她們大吼舞臺指示「洶湧的情慾」以外，毫無建樹。兩位演員根本沒有辦法自己演完這場戲，而她們發現到了排練最後階段，她們的導演對著她們大喊「就做吧。時候到了。」

「劇場的一切都是假的，」Sina說，「那是一個由演員搬演的假故事，我們必須永遠記得這點，你不應該因此失去自我，你必須在自我跟所做事情之間取得很好的平衡。是的，你必須把自己奉獻給角色，但你也必須要在適當時候離開。」
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前言：
自己日常閱讀時發現這篇文章，其中許多觀念頗為受用，花了幾天翻譯出來，希望能給台灣帶來不同觀念交流、分享，人家對身體以及一切相關觀念，已經好前面了。

雖為英文系畢業，但仍非專業翻譯，謬誤之處歡迎指正。

歡迎轉貼，請勿用做商業用途。
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正文：

Intimate Exchanges
Sex scenes require as much careful choreography as flight or dances, especially in the #MeToo era.

《交換親密》
性愛場景，如同設計武打場，或是舞蹈動作一般，需要同樣細心編排的動作設計，特別是在這個 #MeToo時代。

Adam Noble had been teaching an advanced scene class for just one month when he faced a startling encounter with sexual assault in acting. A student came to him asking for a new scene partner, saying she thought the man she had been working with, on the final scene between Stanley and Blanche in A Streetcar Named Desire, had tried to rape her.

Adam Noble在他的進階場景分析課上遇到一件令他膽戰心驚的表演性騷擾事件，一名學生跟他要求更換場景搭檔，她說她的搭檔企圖在他們一起工作《慾望街車》最後一景Stanley跟Blanche的戲時，企圖強暴她。

Noble immediately offered to serve as a mediator for the two students, who had been rehearsing alone in the young man’s dorm room, in order to clarify what had happened. The situation was resolved as a misunderstanding, and the two were able to continue working together. But for Noble, who had staged his first theatrical flight in 1992, the incident served as a wake-up call.

Noble立即以協調者身分為兩位同學提供幫助(他們一直單獨在男同學宿舍房間單獨排練)，以求能夠釐清事實真相。後來發現整起事件其實是個誤會，兩位同學也因此能夠繼續一起順利工作。但對於Noble來說—他從1992年就設計了他的人生第一場舞台打搏鬥戲—這起突發事件有如一記響鐘。

“We were sending these kids off on their own devices with no foundation for how to approach this stuff,” he recalled. The lack of resources for both students and teachers regarding the staging of intimate scenes was apparent.

「我們讓這些孩子在完全不具備如何處理理這種事的相關基礎知識時候，就放手要他們自己發展，」他這麼回憶。「因此，老師與學生雙方都缺乏排練親密戲的必須知識，這件事是顯而易見的。」

Noble developed a method called Extreme Stage Physicality to provide students with a framework to address what he called in an article for The Flight Master maginize “scenarios of intense physicality” with comfort and confidence. He began teaching ESP to high school, undergraduate, nd graduate students across the country. He found that the methodology was effective for all ages, and the number of reported incidents and problems dropped to zero.

Noble後來發展出了一套他稱之為「極端舞台形體」（ESP)的技巧，他對《The Fight Master》雜誌表⽰這個技巧提供了一組完整架構給學生使用，讓他們在「激烈的肢體情境」中可以感到安心並且擁有自信。他開始在高中、大學、研究所教導這套ESP技巧。他發現這套方法適用於所有年齡層，後來這些單位的性騷擾通報數量為零。

“For me as a director, it had to work for aggression, and it had to work for intimacy,” Noble said. “ It had to work across the board for those moments when the body steps in to fill the void, whether it’s violence or intimacy. Theres’s a point where the text and the words are no longer enough and the body steps in. There had to be a way for them to work on it safely.”

「身為導演，我認為在工作時，必須涵蓋侵略性以及親密性這些面向，」Noble說，「這些都必須要被全面地工作到的，特別是在那些時刻，當你的身體必須要介入來填補空缺的時候，會有那麼一個點，光靠文本跟台詞已經不足以支撐而你的身體必須要介入，在這時候必須要有一個安全工作的方法。」

That way would later be referred to as intimacy choreography, a term first used in 2006 by Tonia Sina, creator of the Intimacy Directors International. While studying movement pedagogy, including flowing and mime, Sina was helping to choreograph intimate scenes in student-directed plays and found what she described as “a hole” in choreography and no resources to help with her work.

那套方法，後來被「國際親密戲導演工作坊」創辦人之一Tonia Sina稱為「親密戲形體排練」。當 Sina在鑽研動作教育學時—其中包含小丑與默劇—一面幫忙在學生執導的劇目中擔任動作設計，就在這時候，她發現了在動作設計這個領域中的「空缺」，而這方面，她發現自己完全沒有任何資源可以幫上忙。

For her thesis he created a technique to help actors improve the conditions of their work as well as the results. Published in 2006, “ Intimate Encounters; Staging Intimacy and Sensuality” drew from her own experience as an actor. While attending graduate school at Virginia Commonwealth University, Sina’s personal life was disrupted due to the lack of structure provided for staging intimate sscenes. While rehearsing Picasso at the Latin Agile, she and her acting partner staged a love scene together, alone-a standard practice for such scenarios- with unnerving results.

她在她的論文創造了一套技巧，來幫助演員精進他們工作的狀態以及成果。2006年，她從自身演員經驗出發，發表了《親密接觸:表演中的親密性及其感官性》。大學就讀維吉尼亞聯邦大學時，Sina的私生活就因為沒有一套擁有完整架構的技巧來排演親密場景，而深受其苦。在排練Picasso at the Latin Agile 時，Sina跟她的表演搭擋需要排練一段愛情戲，而且是獨自排練—一個司空見慣的情況—然後最後結果卻令人不安。

“The second our lips touched it was not rehearing,” Sina recalled. “It was just kissing. We both felt it. We both knew. It ended up spiraling. We ended up leaving our parters for a month and we had a showmance. It caused a lot of mayhem in our personal lives because we couldn’t let these characters go. We didn’t have a safe way to do the intimacy, and we didn’t have a safe way of coming out of it.”

「當我們的嘴唇碰在一起時，那就不是在排練了。」Sina回憶道。「那就只是單純在接吻而已。我們都感覺到了，最後越演越烈，我們都因此而跟各自伴侶分手，在那個演出期間我們的私生活真的變得很混亂，因為我們都不肯放下我們劇中角色。我們沒有一個安全的方法來做親密戲，也沒有一個安全的方法來離開它。」

The two dated for a month, but their romantic relationship ended shortly after the show closed. And while Sina’s experience was consensual, there are many cases in which an intimacy director could have prevented non-consensual encounters and abuses of power, especially for young women in the industry.

他們兩個交往了一個月，但隨著戲告一段落感情也就馬上結束了。儘管Sina的案例是當事者雙方都心甘情願，仍然有非常多的例子不是如此，在那樣的狀況下其實親密戲導演是有大把機會可以防止這種違反自身意願的接觸，以及權力的濫用，特別是對業界年輕女性而言。

“While I was in grad school I was also an actress, so I was experiencing it firsthand- situations that had been completely inappropriate from co-workers, people who had been onstage with me, director and there’s a sex scene and they say, ‘You guys just do it. Just try something.’ So you’re improvising a sex scene with your partner. That’s extremely uncomfortable and very victimizing at times.”

「我在研究所時期也是演員，所以我有親身體驗—那種來自同事的不恰當經驗，一起跟我上台的人，或是導演完全不知道該怎麼處理這些(親密戲)場景，所以他們索性就完全不處理。」Sina說 「如果你有一個比較年長的導演，碰到親密戲他會跟你們說:你們就做吧，就試看各種可能。所以你們就開始在性愛場景中即興，這是非常不舒服的經驗，而且大多數時候非常令人受傷。」

Alcoa Rodies, co-founder of Intimacy Directors Internatial, witnessed and was a victim in such scenarios throughout her career. After almost chipping a tooth when a scene partner decided to intensify a kiss onstage, she was told, “ That’s part of the profession. Get used to it.” Knowing there were hundreds of other women who would gladly take her spot in a show if she left, Rodis thought she had to accept that kind of behavior for the rest of her career.

IDI共同創辦人Alcia Rodis在她自己生涯中，親眼見過幾個案例，並且，也曾經有過身為受害者的經驗。在她的對手演員決定在場上把吻戲變得異常激烈時，她的牙齒幾乎都要裂了，儘管如此，她還是被告知「這行就是這樣。早點習慣吧。」因為Rodis清楚知道如果她選擇離開的話，會有其他幾百位女性會搶破頭想要她的位置，她一度以為她必須要在整個職涯中接受這種狀況。

“We sort of learned that’s not the case, and we don’t have to just take it. We can actually be part of the process and work together,” Rodis said.

「我們後來知道其實並不是這樣的，我們不需要逆來順受。我們其實可以在整個工作過程中同心協力地工作。」Rodis 說。

Sina and Rodies, along with co-founder Siobhan Richardson, created the Pillars, the core protocol of IDI’s work and teaching. A codified process, the Pillars consist of Context, Commumication, Consent and Choreography. (They recently estabished a fifth pillar, Closure, to assist actors in walking away from a character after a performance.) Not having this process, Sina said, can be damaging and dangerous.

Sina跟Rodis，以及創辦夥伴Siobhan Richardson發明了「骨幹」這個IDI在工作及教學上的核心要素草案。其中包含：文本、溝通、同意以及動作(近期還加上了第五個骨幹:收尾。來幫助演員在戲結束之後順利離開他的角色。)Sina說，沒有這些幫助的話，是有可能帶來危害的。

“None of it’s real-it’s theatre,” said Sina. “It’s a fake story that is being portrayed by actors, and we have to keep remembering that. You shouldn’t be losing yourself. You need to have some semblance of yourself and some awareness of what you’re doing. Yes you can commit to the character, but you need to come out again.”

「劇場的一切都是假的，」Sina說，「那是一個由演員搬演的假故事，我們必須永遠記得這點，你不應該因此失去自我，你必須在自我跟所做事情之間取得很好的平衡。是的，你必須把自己奉獻給角色，但你也必須要在適當時候離開。」

IDI currently recommends four certified Intimacy Directors, with 16 candidates in training to become certified. Currently only established movement teachers, choreographers, and directors who have worked directly with a founder are able to apply for training. The organization also offers workshops for actors, directors who want to learn basic consent and choreography, and for stage managers and choreographers wanting to learn more about intimacy direction. In August 2018, a 10-day International Intimacy Pedagogy was held in Illinois.

IDI最近推薦了四位經過認證的親密戲導演，陸續還有其他十六位正在培訓。目前，機構只提供專業的、並且曾和創辦者共事過的動作老師、編舞以及導演可以申請接受培訓。IDI有提供工作坊給演員及導演學習「同意」與「動作」的基礎概念，另有舉辦工作坊，給有意願了解更多關於「如何給予親密戲指示」的舞臺經理與動作設計。2018年8月，他們在伊利諾州舉辦了為期10天的國際親密戲教育學工作坊。

Along with the Pillars, another crucial aspect of intimacy directing is recognizing and respecting traumas in one’s colleagues. All IDI-certified choreographers have completed state-offered metal health certification courses.

除了「骨幹」之外，另有一個至關重要的概念：辨識並且尊重同事的創傷。所有IDI的動作設計都完成了由州政府認證的心理健康課程。

“None of us are therapists, and none of us are counselors,” Rodis said. “But we know what to do if someone is having a metal health crisis, and we know what resources to give them. Because of the nature of the work we’re doing, and because some of us are so new, we’re getting further education on trauma.”

「我們都不是心理治療師，我們也都不是諮商師，」Rodis說「但是，我們知道當有人心理出現危機時該給他們什麼資源。因為就我們現在所做的工作本質上來說，我們都是新手，所以我們有必要持續在創傷這個議題上進修。」

While recognizing that theatre professionals are just that- professionals hired to tell a story- the founders also understand that that job can involve actors putting themselves through traumatic experiences night after night.
“We know what you’re doing is different than going to the office every day,” Rodis said, “If you’re playing Lady Macbeth every night, after a while it’s going to wear on you. So we also offer resources on how to close out at the end of every night.”

正因為知道劇場這個職業就是由一群受聘的專業演員來講一則故事，創辦者清楚的認識到這個工作可能需要演員讓他們自己日復一日、夜復一夜的經歷那些創傷。「我們明⽩你的工作不同於朝九晚五的上班族，」Rodis說，「如果妳每天晚上都在飾演馬克白夫人，過一陣子這個角色其實是會影響到妳本人的，正因為如此，我們也提供方法讓你在每晚演出過後把角色給關起來。」

One such resource is the ability to discuss sexuality and sexual experiences openly and without discomfort- a shift from the norm in American culture, which, as actor/director/teacher Claire Warden observed, has little problem with violence but tends to balk when it comes to sex, leaving directors feeling uncomfortable and embarrassed.

其中一個資源，就是擁有能力來討論性以及性經驗而不會感到不適。談論性這件事，不同於具有多重身份(演員、導演與老師)的Claire Warden觀察到的一個美國文化現象:談到暴力時大家都沒問題，不過一但談到性的時候大家都顯得有點畏畏縮縮的，這其實讓導演們都覺得不舒服與尷尬。

“We’ve got this really skewed view of sex and sexuality and intimacy, and an obsession with it,“ Warden Said, “ A lot of shame, judgment, power, and confusion lies around it, which has made it uncomfortable and awkward to talk about openly.” The root problem, she said, may be that “sexuality and intimacy have kind of blurred into one.”

「我們對於性與親密的相關議題有一種扭曲的觀念，同時卻又深深為其著迷」Warden說，「這同時又有許多羞愧、判斷、權力以及困惑參雜其中，因此讓它成為一個公開談論時會帶來不適與尷尬的議題。」根據她說，其實真正根深蒂固的問題是，我們把「性」與「親密」混為一談。

Intimacy direction was never mentioned when an actor we’ll call Emily(not her real name) was performing in a dramatic two-handler and struggled to choreograph a love scene with her female scene partner. Having never performed a same-sex love scene before, Emily found herself at a loss, and her director- whose only technique was to yell the stage direction “Rolling heat!” Repeatedly- was no help. The two actors were unable to stage the scene on their own and found themselves onstage at the end of rehearsal with the director yelling. “Just do it. It’s time.”

親密戲的指導，從來沒有在演員Emily與她的女搭檔編排動作設計遇到困難時出現(她們當時在編排一個充滿戲劇衝突的雙人愛情戲)，即使Emily之前演過同性間的愛情戲，她仍然發現自己舉步維艱， 而她的導演除了不斷對著她們大吼舞臺指示「洶湧的情慾」以外，毫無建樹。兩位演員根本沒有辦法自己演完這場戲，而她們發現到了排練最後階段，她們的導演對著她們大喊「就做吧。時候到了。」

Emily recalled that “when it came time to do it in performances, fight director friends of mine ho came to see the how said, ‘That look incredibly uncomfortable for you both. You looked like you were in pain and it was obvious.’’’ Her friends asked her where the intimacy director was. Emily had never heard of such a director, saying, “ I wish I’d known about it at the time when all the yelling was happening.”

Emily後來說，「後來真的演出時，我有個舞台搏鬥導演朋友來看演出，到了所謂的『就做吧』片段時，他說『那看起來對妳們兩個都極其不舒服，妳們看起來超痛苦，而且非常明顯。」她的朋友繼續問她親密戲導演在哪。Emily那時從來沒有聽過有「親密戲導演」這種導演，她說「我真希望在所有的吼叫發叫的當下，我能夠知道『其實有親密戲導演』這件事。」

Emily now a director herself, said she is carful to ensure that her actors are comfortable when staging intimate scenes. “I am hyper-aware of my actors’ sensitivity and I’m constantly checking in with them: ‘Are you okay? Are you comfortable with this? Let me know if you’re not comfortable. We don’t have to do this. We can do something else.’ And my actors thank me for it. They’re not used to that.”

現在身為導演的Emily表示:「在排練親密戲時，我總是對我的演員的感受保持超級高的敏感度，我會不停的詢問他們『你還好嗎？你對這個覺得自在嗎？如果有不舒服要讓我知道。我們不一定要這麼做，我們可以有替代方案的。』我的演員總是對此心存感激，他們對這樣的工作方式其實還不是那麼習慣。」

Uncomfortable situations can present themselves with or without directors in the room. Often scene partners are encouraged to stage the scenes on their own, outside of rehearsal, a practice that can lead to feelings of fear and helplessness. Sina was kissed inappropriately- a kiss that hadn’t been choreographed or rehearsed- in front of an audience of 500 people and had to be in character as she received it.

不舒服的狀況不論導演在不在場都有可能發生。通常演員們會被鼓勵私下自己排練，其實，這麼做很容易引發恐懼與無助感。Sina曾在500位觀眾面前被不當的親吻—一個沒被事先設計或是排練過的吻 —而她在被親的同時還要想辦法讓自己「待在角色裡」。

“There are times where it’s, ‘Kiss, but don’t kiss until previews.’ It’s the worst,” Rodis said. “At best it’s a bad story, at worst they start grabbing you, ‘be in the moment.’ That’s the definition of assault.”

「有時候的情況是親，但是在試演前不會真的親，那種是最糟的。」Rodis說，「當那種狀況發生時，你能得到最好的結果是一個爛故事，最糟的結果是你開始被這件事給抓住還要『待在當下』， 這其實就是侵犯的定義。」

Along with establishing the definition of assault, IDI training also defines consent in clear, unquestionable terms that differentiate between that and permission. A director can give permission to touch another actor, but only a fellow actor can give consent.

除了建立侵犯的定義以外，IDI還以清清楚楚、不容模糊的語彙界定了「同意」與「允許」的差異。 導演可以「允許」演員去觸摸對手，但只有對手演員自己才可以真的表示「同意」。

“The conversation is always very professional and technical, so when we’re talking about parts of the body, it’s the biological name of the part of the body.” said Warden. “And we as intimacy directors never ask anything about and never inquire about the actors’, directors’ or anyone else’s personal sexual life, history, story, proclivities, etc.”

「所有的討論都是非常專業的，當我們必須要談論身體的部位時，我們都會用生物學名稱。」 Warden說，「身為親密戲導演，我們絕對不會去問任何演員、導演或是任何人的個人性愛生活、歷史、故事或是性傾向...等等任何事情。」

The language doesn’t change when the workshops contain students, Warden said, though she may move more slowly.

語彙的使用並不會因為工作坊有學生而改變，Warden說，只是她會教的更慢而已。

“A lot of what we’re saying for adults is still, ‘That is not real. None of this is real.’’’ said Sina. “In rehearsal, we don’t add acting to it until the very last minute, We choreograph it like we do anything else. Just do the moves so everyone knows what’s happening. Then they can add the emotion to it when the actors are ready and they feel they know the choreography well enough. And if you can get that to happen for minors, it separates the sexuality from the choreography and allows them to treat it like it is: choreography.”

「即便我們跟成年人都一直在強調『這都不是真的，這一切都是假的。』」Sina說。「排練的時候，我們不到最後一分鐘是不會加上『表演』的。在最後關頭之前。我們都像是處理其他素材一樣，做形體動作讓大家都知道會發生什麼事。一直到演員們都準備好了，對動作都夠熟悉時，他們才會真的帶入感情去演出。如果你能夠讓這些未成年先開始這麼做，慢慢的所有人就能夠把性跟動作設計分開來來看，然後以正確的眼光看它:動作設計。」

The inability to treat intimate scenes as simply choreography is a problem Sina has observed at numerous drama competitions, where students without sexual experience or knowledge, let alone the ability to separate themselves from the characters they were playing, have performed sex scenes. These situations can be traumatizing for people without the knowledge or resources to handle it.

Sina在無數個戲劇比賽上觀察到一個問題，學生們往無法把親密場景當成動作設計一樣來處理，這群學生們沒有性經驗或是相關知識，想當然就無法在性愛戲中把自己跟扮演的人物切割開來看待。這種狀況是非常有可能讓人受創的，特別是對那些沒有相關知識，或是資源來處理這種狀況的人。

“If they’re not being led through it properly, it can be very, very dangerous,” she said. “It’s illegal in our country to do anything sexual with a minor or have two minors do something sexual in front of an adult. It’s very thin line between choreography and a crime when you’re dealing with minors.”

「如果他們沒有被好好引導的話，那真的非常非常的危險。」她說，「根據我們國家的法律，讓一個或多個未成年人在成年人面前做出帶有性愛意味的事情是違法的。所以面對未成年時，在『動作設計』跟『犯罪』之間其實只有一條非常模糊的線。」

Demand for IDI services and training has spiked in the past year, since the #MeToo movement has exposed abuse in the entertainment field, including theatre, and the issues of consent and empowerment in the workplace (not to mention outside of it) have become central.

自從去年#MeToo運動開始後，對IDI這個機構的服務與訓練來說，他們面臨了重要挑戰。在娛樂產業(包含劇場)的職場上(更別提職場外也是)，現在，關於「同意」與「權力」的議題都變得重要無比了。

“At the moment there’s so much need and demand and only so many of us to go around,” Warden said. “I cannot be in every single room and play out there, but what I can do is empower actors or directors or even stag managers to go into a room and say, ‘I would like to offer a way of talking about this.”

「目前來看，親密戲導演的需求與實際從業人數是不成正比的，」Warden說。「很顯然的，我不可能出現在每一個房間裡指導，但我可以做的是賦予演員、導演甚是舞臺經理權力，讓他們能夠在每個房間替自己發聲『我想要提供另外一種工作方式』。」

Also encouraging to Warden is the increased awareness among young students.

對Warden來說，令他欣慰的是年輕一代學生中對這件事情有意識的人數越來越多了。

“My hope, my intentions and my dream is that the next generation of actors, writers, and directors come out with a very different understating of respect and consent with their bodies and each others’ bodies,” Warden said. “And that leads us into an even more free and safe way to creat deep, authentic, risky stories.”

「我的願望、我的本意、以及我的夢想都是下個世代的演員、作家、以及導演都能夠對他們自己以及他人的身體，有一種非常不同於現在的理解、尊重、權利，」Warden說，「這可以讓我們以更自由，同時也更加安全的方式來創造出具深度、真誠、精彩的故事。」

Carey Purcell, New York city-based reporter

【玳瑚師父客人見證】《差一點的車禍》
THE CAR ACCIDENT THAT ALMOST HAPPENED
文 / 蔡永文 先生 Written by Mr Justin Chua

我很幸運，也很榮幸，在2017年9月29日請到玳瑚師父爲我批八字。

在此，也想感謝季謙引領我聯繫玳瑚師父。這次的諮詢打開了我的思想，180度地改變了我的生活和價值觀。

這是我第一份的見證，因爲這只不過是發生在這六個月內的一部份好事。我相信在未來的時間里，將會有第二份和第三份，因為我需要時間去執行玳瑚師父的建議和提示。

先讓我說說這五件事：

1.「隱形的第三者」：

我的書房裡有一位看不見的第三者。雖然「他」沒有惡意，但我覺得他在情緒方面影響了我的家人。玳瑚師父很準確地分析，並解釋了這情況的來龍去脈及「他」的由來。

雖然「他」還在那裡，但我現在內心安寧。因爲我已經應用了玳瑚師父的兩個建議。我現在正在籌備執行玳瑚師父其他的建議，實行後就會寫第二份的見證。

2. 貴人：

批八字令我印象深刻的其中一項，就是認貴人。

自從我小時候起，我就知道我沒有一帆風順的生活，因此，我一直提醒自己努力工作，為我所做的一切付出更多的心血和心思。

玳瑚師父向我解釋如何確認我的貴人。諮詢結束後，我仔細去思考那些在我生活中幫助過我，指導過我的人，那些在我需要支持的時候給予力量，關懷和安慰的人。果真，他們就是師父爲我歸類的貴人！玳瑚師父的準確度200％！這是現代科學無法解釋的。

要引貴人出現，我必須累積更多的功德，這也是我自2017年9月底以來一直在做的事。關於功德，我將在以下再詳細說明。

3. 休息環境或住宅：

玳瑚師父建議，如果我的家人去度假，韓國將是最理想的地方。 （當然，歐洲也可以，但是需要多一點金錢）。他提到，去寒冷的國家旅行對我們會有好處。

我還記得他提到，對於我的八字，最好能住在水體或綠地/山脈附近。我們全家在一個滑雪的旅館住宿三晚，我終於明白玳瑚師父的建議。我們的房間位於山前，算是山腳。

以往我和家人一起度假的時候，我通常是最後一個在早上醒的，总想睡得更多，哈哈！但是在這三個的早晨裡，我是第一個醒來，最奇的是，我就如充了電似的，充滿活力，就像自然醒。

我的家人感到驚訝，因為我是最後一個睡覺的。（只有一間廁所，我會確定所有的家人使用完後，我才去使用，而且我還必須洗奶瓶，並準備第二天的一切）。突然之間，我體驗到玳瑚師父的建議是如此又一次的準確，及其寓意。

4. 車禍：

玳瑚師父曾預測2018年將是我可能發生嚴重車禍的一年。我很擔心。事實上，在諮詢之後，我每天都會檢查我的汽車輪胎，然後才開車。但是，有一天，我沒有檢查。如果我回想起來，那是因為我忙辦年貨的事宜（那時是立春之後），而我正趕時間。

同時，我車的空調吹出熱的空氣，壞了。我在網上搜索，找到一些可靠的維修空調公司，並與其中一些人進行了交談。我終於決定找靠近我家的維修公司，也因爲在通話的時候，老闆聽起來對我很老實、坦誠和真誠。到達他的店面後，他的一名員工爲我的空調進行了診斷測試，並建議我更換新的一套。同時，他剛好在我的一個輪胎上發現了嚴重的缺陷。

輪胎的鋼絲已經露出了！這顯示輪胎胎紋已經嚴重磨損。我非常困惑，因為一兩天前，我很肯定不是這個狀況的。我心裡在想，這公司真的拯救了我的命啊！

想想如果在高速公路行駛，輪胎可能爆裂，車禍肯定是致命的。萬一我的車撞到另一輛車，其他乘客或車輛受到影響，該怎麼辦？我感到震驚，也幸運。我和老闆聊了聊，並感謝他，然後......我想到玳瑚師父的指導，才發現這老闆就是我的貴人

這是否意味著我已度過了這個難關？我不確定，但我有一種感覺，在我的生活中修功德和累積功德，是讓這事化險為夷的關鍵。

5. 功德：

玳瑚師在臉書上的文章提到了修功德。自從我遇到他以來，我提醒自己時時刻刻要做善事。

一些簡單的例子：捐贈給窮人和貧困者，向那些需要幫助的人伸出援助之手。

例如：我每周會去廟訪，一位行走困難的奶奶要求我給她買一杯茶，雖然我不久前從樓梯上跌了下來，剛出醫院，我還是馬上買一杯給她。

另一件事：一個媽媽抱著嬰孩在細雨中等待一輛Uber，我把我的雨傘借給她們，也陪她們等。

一個簡單的善念，也能大有幫助。

我也常唸「住生短咒」。我發現在2018裡，貴人較頻密地在我的生命中出現。

玳瑚師父是一個嚴肅的人，但他對每個人都很關心。我記得當他給我提出一些建議時，我和他分享了我在執行這些建議時遇到的一些挑戰，他的表情是真的很關心，並提出了其他可行的方法。

如果有人想改善自己的生活，不要期待聽甜言蜜語或處處都稱心如意。最重要的是，採取正確的行動並時時用心努力。

謝謝玳瑚師父！ 🙏🙏🙏
祝福您身體健康、年年有餘、一年比一年好！🙏🙏🙏

⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯

*Testimonial Part 1 from Justin Chua*

I have the good fortune and privilege to have my Bazi read by Master Dai Hu around End September 2017. I want to thank Ji Qian for linking me up with Master Dai Hu as this session opened up my mind and changed my life.

This is Part 1 of my testimonial because after a span of six months, these are just some of the positive things that have happened. I am certain that in time to come, there will be Part 2 and Part 3 because I will need time to work on Master Dai Hu's suggestions, advice and tips.

Meanwhile, let me illustrate on five key specific areas:

1. "Invisible third party":

There was an invisible third party in my study room. While "he" wasn't malicious, I felt "he" did affect my family in terms of moods and emotions. Master Dai Hu was spot on in his analysis and explain the fundamentals behind this situation and "him".

While "he" is still there, I am at peace and things have become better because I have applied two pieces of advice which Master Dai Hu had suggested. I am now working on the next course of recommendations and I will update this testimonial when it materializes.

2. Benefactors:

One of the memorable aspects of our session was the identification of Benefactors.

Ever since I was young, I know that I do not have a smooth sailing life and hence, I have always reminded myself to be hardworking and put in extra effort in everything I do. Master Dai Hu explained to me on how to identify my benefactors.

After the session, I went back to reflect on the important people who have assisted me, mentored me and gave me strength when I am in need over the years.. and guess what, they fall into these categories of benefactors.

The accuracy is 200%, and this is something that modern science will not be able to explain. For benefactors to appear, I must accumulate more merits, and this is what I also have been doing since end September 2017.

More to be elaborated below.

3. Resting Environment or Residence -

Master Dai Hu suggested that if my family were to go for vacation, Korea will be the most ideal place. (Of course, Europe as well, but subject to our budget). He mentioned that a trip to cold countries will do us good. I also recalled he mentioned that for my Bazi, it is best to find a residence near a water body, or greenery/mountains.

I had a sneak preview of this and during one of our stays in a ski resort, I finally understood why. Our room was located right in front of a mountain. In all the vacations I went with my family, I was usually the last to wake up in the morning and always wanted to sleep more.

But for these three particular mornings, I was the first to wake up, and when I do so, I feel very recharged and energized, like I woke up naturally.

My family was even surprised because I was the last to sleep (there was only one toilet and I made sure all my family members use it first before it was my turn, and also I had to wash milk bottles, and prepare for the next day). And suddenly, Master Dai Hu's recommendations were spot on once again after I realized the significance.

4. Car accident:

Master Dai Hu predicted that 2018 would be a year where I would likely have a serious car accident. I was very worried. In fact, after my session with him, I checked my car tires every day before I move off.

However, for one day, I did not check. If I recalled, it was because I was busy with CNY stuff (it was just after 立春), and I was in a rush. Concurrently, my air con failed on me, blowing hot air. I googled, found some contacts for a reliable air con workshop, and spoke to a few of them.

I finally settled on one which was near my house, but also, the boss seemed to be really honest, upfront and genuine to me during the phone call. Upon reaching the workshop, one of his worker ran a diagnostic test for my air con and suggested that I change a new set. At the same time, he happen to spot a serious flaw in one of my tires. The steel threading have already appeared which means the tire is already bare and worn out.

I was pretty puzzled because I was sure it wasn't like that just one or two days before. I then realized that this workshop could have save my life.. imagine driving along the expressway, the tire could burst and a car crash is certainly deadly.

What if my car hit another car and other passengers or vehicles are affected? I was shocked and counted my blessings.

I had a chat with the boss and thanked him, and then.. I realized he was my benefactor based on Master Dai Hu's guidance. Does it mean that I have made it past this critical stage? I am not sure, but I have a feeling cultivating merits could be important in this incident.

5. Merits -

Master Dai Hu and his articles on Facebook mentioned about cultivating merits. Ever since I met him, I have made it a point to accumulate merits.

Some simple examples: donation to the poor and needy, lending a helping hand to people who requires it at that point of time

Some examples: While at my weekly temple visit, a grandma who has difficulties walking asked me to buy her a cup of Teh O, I did so right away even though I had fell off the stairs and out of hospital not long ago.

Another one: I offered my umbrella to a mother and her toddler while she was waiting in the drizzle for Uber.. simple thoughts to help others, goes a long way.

I also often recite the Rebirth to Pure Land Short Mantra. I find that benefactors appear in my life more often in 2018.

Master Dai Hu is a strict person but he means well to every individual. I remember when he gave me some recommendations, and I share with him some of my challenges in executing it, he looked genuinely concerned and suggested feasible alternatives. If anyone wants to change their lives and make it better, do not expect sweet words and a bed of roses. Most importantly, take the correct action and make a conscious effort.

Thank you Master Dai Hu! 🙏🙏🙏
Wishing you best of health, wealth and all the good things in life! 🙏🙏🙏