給正在為夢想努力的你
翻譯，讓文字的力量更深刻
來讀 Sonny老師的翻譯&教學札記 的翻譯
今日選讀，是葉慈的作品〈他渴慕天上的綢緞〉
（He Wishes for the Cloth of Heaven）
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我渴慕天上的綢緞
Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
閃耀金色和銀色的光
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
深藍渲染朦朧與黯淡
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
輝映著晝夜和黎明
Of night and light and the half-light,
我願將它鋪在你足下
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
但潦倒的我只剩夢想
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
把所有夢想鋪你足下
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
盼你踏上時步履輕輕
Tread softly
因為你正踏過我的夢
because you tread on my dreams.
——W. B. 葉慈，1899/ Sonny 老師譯
#Tag 那個跟你一起做夢的人
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Sonny 老師今年最後一期【台灣浩進階筆譯班】
旁聽班名額，只剩個位數啦 🔥
結合往年爆滿的 #翻譯所考試班 ＋ #基礎筆譯班
全新 10 週課綱，帶你完勝不同語境
錯過真的要等明年啦：https://lihi1.cc/Fdayv
heaven翻譯 在 [翻譯] A7X - A Little Piece Of Heaven - 看板RockMetal - 批踢踢 ... 的美食出口停車場
在翻之前拜了一下辜狗大神，發現對岸也有翻譯這首歌
不過內容為了整首歌的敘事性做了不小的更動
可以參考一下
https://zhidao.baidu.com/question/81611873.html
下面是我自己翻的，學藝不精請多見諒，有錯處也望請指正。
A Little Piece Of Heaven
天堂的一角
Avenged Sevenfold 七級煉獄
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXMobqWhpsk MV板
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=df0uDRQhL0o Live in LBC板
Before the story begins, is it such a sin
For me to take what's mine, until the end of time?
We were more than friends, before the story ends
And I will take what's mine,
create what God would never design
在這個故事開始之前 這讓我有些罪惡感
那些我該得到的 到一切結束前我為何都沒得到?
我們終於超越了朋友的界限 在這故事結束之前
而我將拿回我應得的 就連上帝都料想不到
Our love had been so strong for far too long
I was weak with fear that something would go wrong
Before the possibilities came true,
I took all possibility from you
Almost laughed myself to tears,
conjuring her deepest fears
(Come here you fxxking bitch)
我們的愛情是如此的堅固而長久
我是如此的害怕有什麼會出了差錯
而在這點可能性成真之前
我將奪走妳所有的可能性
我的笑聲瘋狂到接近撕裂
召喚出他最深沉的恐懼
(給我過來 妳這他媽的婊子!)
Must have stabbed her fifty fxxking times,
I can't believe it
Ripped her heart out right before her eyes,
eyes over easy Eat it,eat it, eat it
必須要結束這婊子殺千刀的賤命
我無法置信
就在她的眼前 撕出她的心臟
然後吃了它 吃了它 吃了它
She was never this good in bed,
even when she was sleeping
Now she's just so perfect,
I've never been quite so fxxking deep in
It goes on and on and on
I can keep you looking young and preserved forever
With a fountain to spray on your youth whenever
她在床上從來沒有讓我這麼爽過
就算是她已經睡著的時候
而現在她是這麼樣的完美
我從來沒這麼她媽的深入
不停向下插的更深更深更深
我會讓妳永遠看起來這麼年輕而且永遠保持美麗
伴隨著注入我的泉水讓妳無論何時都這麼青春
Cause I really always knew that my little crime
Would be cold that's why I got a heater for your thighs
And I know, I know it's not your time
but bye bye
And a word to the wise when the fire dies
You think it's over but it's just begun
But baby don't cry
因為我真的隨時記得我這小小的罪惡
就讓我來為你變冷的雙腿加熱
而我知道 我知道對妳來說這實在不幸
但我仍要向妳道別
在激情退卻之後才是真正的高潮
妳覺得這已經結束但這只是個開始
但我的寶貝別哭
You had my heart, at least for the most part
Cause everybody's gotta die sometime, we fell apart
Let's make a new start
Cause everybody's gotta die sometime yeah
But baby don't cry
你已經得到了我的心 這才是最重要的
因為每個人都會死 我們也將分崩離析
讓我們創造一個新的開始吧
因為每個人都會死
但我的寶貝請不要哭泣
Now possibilities I'd never considered
Are occurring the likes of which I'd never heard
Now an angry soul comes back from beyond the grave
To repossess a body with which I'd misbehaved
現在發生了一件我無法想像的事
這件事情我從來沒在哪裡聽過
一個憤怒的靈魂從墓地的遠方歸來
回到了我所玷污的肉體上
Smiling right from ear to ear
Almost laughed herself to tears
Must have stabbed him fifty fxxking times,
I can't believe it
Ripped his heart out right before his eyes,
eyes over easy
Eat it, eat it, eat it
笑容扯破了她的嘴角
就在她幾乎被撕裂的笑臉上
必須要終結這個混帳殺千刀的賤命
就在他的眼前 撕出了它的心臟
然後吃了它 吃了它 吃了它
Now that it's done I realize the error of my ways
I must venture back to apologize from somewhere far beyond the grave
I gotta make up for what I've done
Cause I was all up in a piece of heaven
While you burned in hell, no peace forever
現在我終於領悟到了我所犯的錯
我必須要冒險從這個墓地的遠方歸來以求妳的原諒
我必須彌補我犯下的錯誤
因為當我在天堂的一角時
你卻在地獄之中燃燒 永無安寧之日
Cause I really always knew that my little crime
Would be cold that's why I got a heater for your thighs
And I know, I know it's not your time but bye bye
And a word to the wise when the fire dies
You think it's over but it's just begun
But baby don't cry
因為我真的隨時記得我這小小的罪惡
就讓我來為你變冷的雙腿加熱
而我知道 我知道對妳來說這實在不幸
但仍要向妳道別
在激情退卻之後才是真正的高潮
妳覺得這已經結束但這只是個開始
但我的寶貝別哭
You had my heart, at least for the most part
Cause everybody's gotta die sometime, we fell apart
Let's make a new start
Cause everybody's gotta die sometime yeah yeah
But baby don't cry
你已經得到了我的心 這才是最重要的
因為每個人都會死 我們也將會分離
讓我們創造一個新的開始吧
因為每個人都會死
但我的寶貝請不要哭泣
I will suffer for so long
(What will you do, not long enough)
To make it up to you
(I pray to God that you do)
I'll do whatever you want me to do
(Well then I'll break you unchained)
And if it's not enough
(If it's not enough, it's not enough)
If it's not enough
(Not enough)
Try again
(Try again)
And again
(And again)
Over and over again
我將用很長的時間來贖罪
(你要怎麼做?或許那還不夠長)
來彌補對妳所犯的過錯
(我祈禱你真的去做)
我會做任何妳希望我去做的事情
(那麼我將再給你一次機會)
如果這還是不夠
(不夠)
我將繼續做下去
(繼續做下去)
再繼續下去
(再繼續下去)
一次在一次的做下去
We're coming back, coming back
We'll live forever, live forever
Let's have wedding, have a wedding
Let's start the killing, start the killing
我們回來了 我們回來了
我們將會永遠活著 永遠活著
我們要舉辦一場婚禮 一場婚禮
讓我們大開殺戒 大開殺戒
(Do you take this man in death for the rest of your unnatural life?
yes I do
Do you take this woman in death for the rest of your unnatural life
I do
I now pronounce you...)
(你願與這名男子攜手 停留在死亡之中 共度這不自然的一生嗎?
是的 我願意
你願與這名女子攜手 停留在死亡之中 共度這不自然的一生嗎?
我願意
那麼我宣布你們...)
Cause I really always knew that my little crime
Would be cold that's why I got a heater for your thighs
And I know, I know it's not your time
but bye bye
And a word to the wise when the fire dies
You think it's over but it's just begun
But baby don't cry
因為我真的隨時記得我這小小的罪惡
就讓我來為你變冷的雙腿加熱
而我知道 我知道對妳來說這實在不幸
但仍要向妳道別
在激情退卻之後才是真正的高潮
妳覺得這已經結束但這只是個開始
但我的寶貝別哭
You had my heart, at least for the most part
Cause everybody's gotta die sometime, we fell apart
Let's make a new start
Cause everybody's gotta die sometime yeah
But baby don't cry
你已經得到了我的心 這才是最重要的
因為每個人都會死 我們也將會分離
讓我們創造一個新的開始吧
因為每個人都會死
但我的寶貝請不要哭泣...
－－－－－－
算是滿長的一首歌，寫日文作文的時候覺得很煩，為了轉換心情翻了一下，結果不由
自主的把它翻完了XD 你說作文怎麼辦?就當他是愚人節的笑話吧( *〞▽〝)/
And a word to the wise when the fire dies 這句我一直翻不好 望請板上大賢指導
上篇B.Y.O.B.的翻譯經過研究後決定採用版友的版本，在此叩謝。
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