Just had a wonderful night session with Father in Heaven at 5am in the morning because of my insomnia (it was a sign that I haven't truly spent quality time with Him in a while).
I always had a difficulty understanding the concept of loving myself and being kind to myself. I want to love myself but I always thought of it as a selfish act. My sister @carmen.cheng probably knows the best, how I always struggle with this idea. I really don't know how to love myself. I always feel guilty of listening to my heart and feelings. And because I don't know how to love myself, I don't know how to properly love others either.
But Tonight through quite time with God, prayers and worship song, O come to the altar (I fall in love with this song when I first heard it in NYCAC Sunday service https://youtu.be/ycWDFd0yCHA), I have my answers.
To truly love myself, Means I need to truly love God and listen to Him, for He is the ultimate creator of everything so He knows what is best for me. But to get what is best for me, I must listen to Him, and obey. There is no other way because He is God, what more can I emphasise this, He is God, who is beyond the concept of time because He is the beginning and end; He created time. So He knows what's best for me, all of us. It's the matter if we choose to obey and listen to him or not, whether we accept that He is God and we are only human, part of his creation, or not. The freedom to decide and choose is granted to us, but choosing correctly is the key. The key to open all the locks, to get you on the right path instead of running of track and end up being lost. And again, he knows what's best for you, so why not follow instead of deciding on your own, blindfolded, listening to your own limited knowledge and ideas about this world and the meaning of life, making yourself an idol. It is really important to see, understand and humbly accept the difference between God and us, or else we wouldn't be able to understand the importance of obeying. Instead of fighting against the ocean current, it is easier to flow with the directed movement, which means rely on Him through ups and downs to have peace and rest, even when the storm is coming, who knows, there might be a rainbow ahead.
And so to obey God basically means treating yourself better because you get the easy pass by doing so. So then suddenly, the concept of loving yourself is not selfish anymore, because you have to first love God. And to love God, simply means doing what He has told, taught and understand what He likes and dislike. And suddenly I remember Timothy Keller's sermon on Your Plans: God's Plans. (https://youtu.be/3OXaJPiov5E)
And that is the true wisdom to life. ❤️✝️
