關於 a-one床包 ，我們在網路上蒐集到這些相關的討論、資訊與評價

你本來就沒有資格只經歷正面情緒。

某些情緒低潮不但沒有傷害性，事實上還能讓你保持最佳狀態。當人處於數種不同情緒之下，往往有最好的表現。有能力接受並容忍負面情緒，這將為你開啟邁向成功的大道，你會選擇最有意義而不是最舒適的那條路，並激發內在潛能。

舉例說明，如果你能忍受情緒低潮，便不需要迴避令你焦慮的對話。即使你覺得自己笨手笨腳，依然可以採取有意義的行動，好比追求夢想。

如果你不怕被情緒低潮打垮，不怕因此而失控，或者做出違反本性的事，你很可能安然度過這段期間，不會感到痛苦萬分。

取自《與焦慮和解2》

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各位朋友，早安：

上次直播主要是講到伴侶關係的經營，事實上整本書都在討論紓壓或增進心理健康。
https://www.facebook.com/Psychologist.Hung/videos/576939742936971/

下面的摘文中，我相當欣賞作者整理出「負面」情緒的價值。懂得感恩與欣賞負面情緒，人生會多一點平靜。

幸福、快樂，是對人活著，有相當的重要性。但能接納各種情緒，在接納之後，我們有可能不再執著於要什麼情緒出現，這是一種偏執，而這種偏執反而增加我們的不適。

藉著感受，我們看到我們內在的需要，我們對愛的渴望，與之連結，這是更深層的體驗。常有這種體驗，各種情緒都能成為我們的朋友，滋養我們的生命。

最近跟某位朋友討論，我所期待的某件小事。他說，真好，我能為小事而開心。其實，我並不是只期待開心，我也準備好面對煩惱憂愁的到來。

一個完整的人生，可以讓觀照更深遠，我們可以不用活得那麼侷限。祝願您，懂得欣賞自己的挫敗，走向圓滿！

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【文/ 愛麗絲．博耶斯】

允許自己體驗快樂

有一個相當常見的障礙需要密切注意，也就是「拒絕－放縱循環」。假設有人對於自己的低成就感到挫折，包括現在的工作、職業生涯，或者家庭計畫等等，他們拒絕尋求快樂，因為覺得自己沒有資格。然而，正因限制自己在有趣的活動中找樂子，無法培養正面情緒，「庫存」的意志力和情感漸漸枯竭，之後往往出現劇烈反彈，開始肆無忌憚地縱情享樂（以致沒有足夠精力實現其他目標）。這是一種自我延續的循環。如果你剛好有很多自毀習慣，並因此大力抨擊自己，那麼你很容易掉進「我不配擁有快樂」的思考模式。以下是這個常見通病的流程表。

對於低成就感到挫敗
↓
覺得自己不配擁有快樂
↓
拒絕善待及培育自己
↓
沒有精力實現目標＋沉浸在不健康的反彈中

我不是要你為了找樂子而逃避工作或責任，重要的是兼顧快樂和工作。許自己一個體驗簡單快樂的機會，哪怕你覺得自己沒有資格。由於行為會影響思考與感覺，當你允許自己擁有更多快樂體驗，或許就不會再認定自己不配擁有它。然而，假使你一再拒絕體驗正面情緒，你會愈來愈覺得自己不配。放鬆和正面情緒可以讓你恢復活力，讓腦子休息一下，連帶幫助你認清壓力來源。

以下五個實驗有助於你找出目前擁有或潛在的正面情緒來源。
（注意：我特別在本章提供大量自己的例子，以便闡明觀點，促使你多動腦想一想。需要釐清觀念時，具體範例比普通範例更有用，再說有些人或許不想在書裡看到自己被當作例子，分享自己的經驗可以避免我把他們扯進來！其實我的個人經驗並不特別，你甚至會覺得有一些很無聊，但我希望你能明白，你的行為本質上來說也跟這些例子一樣簡單易懂。）

實驗一：有沒有什麼行為即使免費或不貴，你還是覺得它很奢侈？
有時候，即使最簡單的行為仍會令人感到相當奢侈。什麼行為會給你這種感覺？你的回答應該真實反映自己的情況與本性。如果這些回答深深觸動你，別人卻不感興趣，代表它們確實是簡單又真實反映個人情況。

以下舉幾個超簡單但對我來說很奢侈的快樂。

1. 光顧全食超市（Whole Foods）或喬氏超市（Trader Joe's），在貨架間悠閒而毫無任何目標地瀏覽商品，而不是衝進去買必需品，再匆匆結帳並飛奔而出。
2. 慢慢洗個熱水澡。
3. 聆聽播客和有聲書（我通常從本地圖書館下載有聲書）。
4. 來一場晚上的散步。
5. 和侄兒及侄女用Skype 通話。
6. 睡午覺。

現在就利用筆記本、手機應用程式，或者你用來記錄想法的任何工具，寫下你自己的例子。
想不出來要寫什麼嗎？如果你向來不太思考這類問題，可能無法立即回答。可以花幾週時間慢慢累積想法，只要想到時立刻記下來就行了，否則一旦分心，念頭很容易轉瞬即逝。

以下分享做這個實驗的祕訣：

• 這些帶有正面意義的自省問題可以和家人或朋友一起討論。如果你和某人很熟，或許你可以為對方提供幾個想法，這比他們自己想還要來得容易。
• 可能的話，在清單中加入隨時隨地可以進行的小項目。有些事帶給你真正的快樂，但就是難以在生活中進行，這時不妨問問自己：「有沒有不需要耗費那麼多時間或人力的簡易版？」

實驗二：什麼事會因為當下情況不同，有時令你快樂，有時又令你厭煩？
某些簡單的快樂會因為當下情況不同，有時讓人感到輕鬆，有時又讓人厭煩透頂。舉例說明，我家有游泳池（讓人覺得我很有錢，住在高級住宅，其實根本不是這樣！）當我需要離開電腦上的工作，找個適當休息方式，清理游泳池的落葉會帶給我適度快樂。我很享受那幾分鐘的日光浴，勞力活動也能清除繁雜思慮，讓心靈平靜下來。然而，如果這件事被列入冗長的週末待辦事項清單中，我就會覺得它只是一件討厭的苦差事。
還有另一個例子：當繁重的工作告一段落，開車探望親友（甚至辦事）對我來說是休息，其他時候則讓我覺得精力大量耗損。比起困難的活動，較容易的活動本來就等於獎勵或休息。有些工作以某種方式進行時令人輕鬆，但以另一個方式進行時就令人厭煩或者壓力大。你有沒有類似的經驗？有的話請寫下來，並找出能夠快樂進行這些工作的方式。

實驗三：如何讓簡單的快樂與充滿壓力的時刻連結起來？
將快樂與壓力連結起來可為你減緩壓力的衝擊。比方說，我搭機時會自備奶油花生醬三明治。我不會常常想吃這種食品，偶爾才會想要大快朵頤。但現在它不再是我搭機時的快樂選項，因為它成了例行公事，在趕赴機場時，我不再需要將它列為必辦事項。
有什麼快樂選項（或許是你不想過度沉迷的）可以讓你和較少出現的壓力事項連結起來？還有另一個例子，如果你每週或每月有某個時刻壓力特別大，好比你在雜誌社工作，截稿日迫在眉睫時，總會令你感到壓力超大。這種時候你可以搭配什麼活動，好讓自己輕鬆、快樂一點，還能緩解一部分壓力帶來的衝擊？

實驗四：什麼事可以帶來快樂，但表面上不符合你的個性？
有些簡單的快樂來自你對自己的透徹了解，你深知自己喜歡什麼。人類是具有細微差異的個體，每個人的個性都有顯性和隱性兩種層面，雖然隱性層面不常顯露，但仍和顯性層面同等重要，兩者相加就形成獨一無二的自我。舉例來說，我熱愛旅行，因為我喜歡和不同陌生人進行短暫而友善的互動。它令我心情舒暢，我很享受這種可遇不可求的感受。旅遊使我與各種不同的人大量進行短短二十秒的互動。表面上看來，我應該不會喜歡這樣，畢竟我是個非常內向的人。然而，和陌生人對話二十秒不需要承擔社交責任，對內向的人來說沒有任何負擔，輕輕鬆鬆就能獲取社交能量。我喜歡以這種方式探索自己外向的一面。當你摸透自己個性當中的曲折，也明白自己喜歡什麼，可以為自己開發更多舒暢心情的機會。
有什麼事能為你帶來快樂，但它所反映的是你個性中隱藏的一面？探索你喜歡的行為與情境，這件事如何幫助你了解自我的每個層面，而不是僅僅針對顯性的層面？

實驗五：你的人生目標是什麼？
人一旦努力實踐人生目標並有所斬獲，就會獲得滿滿的幸福感。就連面臨重大壓力的人也適用這個法則，比如說有社交恐懼症。
除了精進工作能力，你的人生還有哪些核心目標？比方說，假設你認為做他人的榜樣是人生重要目標，那麼有哪些行為和這個目標相關？這些行為當中有哪一項可在日常生活中進行？在成為他人榜樣這個範例中，你可能會在小孩、伴侶身上或者社區、職場上看到表現的機會。找出結合快樂和目標的方法，比如為孩子示範找樂子也是平衡生活的一部分。

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去除阻擋你感受快樂的障礙

阻擋我們感受快樂的往往是最簡單且最容易跨越的障礙。舉例說明，你遇上塞車，打算聽聽音樂，但是手機早就沒有儲存空間，你一直沒有存入任何音樂。若要確保手機還有空間讓你享受聽音樂的快樂，平常可以怎麼做？比方說，你每週三需要去鋼琴教室接孩子下課，可以利用等待的空檔為手機騰出一些空間。或者你可以設定自動清除功能，讓手機自動清除已經上傳雲端的照片和影片，還有已經聽過的音樂或節目。
回顧一下本章開頭的幾個實驗，看看有沒有簡單可用的步驟或方法，把那些無聊的小東西挪開，不要讓它們阻礙你發揮體驗簡單快樂的能力。

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負面情緒降臨時，練習自我照顧

本節討論如何應付心情不美麗的低潮期。一開始或許你不了解我為何將這個主題納入自我照顧的章節。擁有處理負面情緒的完整方案，可以確保你避開這些不必要的感覺，並以健康有效的方式解決它們，這將有助於你更快擁有好心情，這就是我將它擺在本章的原因。
當「負面」情緒降臨，為了採取有效行動，首先你必須了解，為了協助我們生存，每種情緒都有它獨特的功能（註1）。在某些情況下，快樂心情可以為理想表現打造最好基礎。然而，大量研究顯示，在其他特殊情況下，諸如有點沮喪或壓力大，或者對目睹的不公平事件感到憤慨，反而會激發出最富創意的思維、做出最好的決定、提出最有說服力的論述，以及締造最精準的表現。（參見陶德．卡珊登［Todd Kashdan］與羅伯特．比斯瓦斯-迪納［Robert Biswas-Diener］合著的《允許自己不快樂》［The Upside of Your Dark Side］，作者對於這些相關研究有傑出又有趣的觀點。）

一起來針對不同情緒的主要功能做個快速巡禮：

• 憤怒讓我們充滿能量，促使我們付諸行動。
• 焦慮讓我們注意細節，不放過任何可能的錯誤，激勵我們做對的事，避免我們過於自滿。
• 無聊讓我們知道自己需要更多新奇事物及挑戰。
• 懷疑使得我們質疑自己正在進行的事，做好接受改變的心理準備，驅使我們更努力或以不同方式工作。它還能引導我們應付別人的反對意見，締造合作局面。
• 嫉妒、失望與孤單讓我們明白自己真正想要的是什麼，當我們努力實現願望，它們幫助我們察覺自己是否走偏。
• 疲累感帶領我們迎向更豐富的創意與更真實的互動，因為人疲勞時防衛心沒那麼重。
• 罪惡感提醒我們道歉並彌補過錯，它也禁止我們做出別人反對或引起他人憤怒的行為。
• 惱怒與挫敗感讓我們知道進度太慢，可能需要改變做事方法。這兩種情緒也提醒我們事有蹊蹺，必須公開說出來並加以改進。
• 難過與傷心讓我們停下腳步、自省、重新評估，並且深入思考我們的價值觀和重視的事物。當人陷入悲傷時，某些認知技巧會強化，比如更能察覺別人說謊。傷心還能擴大自我調整的幅度，這恰好與大眾的刻板印象相反。

當你了解負面情緒蘊含的正面意義，就能更從容地應付它們。你不再需要急急擺脫它們，因為它們成了比較無害的經驗。

人往往忽略負面情緒的潛在正面意義，唯恐負面情緒降臨，因為他們高估它的破壞力，尤其是高估它持續的時間，以為自己需要大大整頓心理狀態，並且嚴重低估自己的應變能力，以為自己會失控並遭受長期負面影響（註2）。

註1
情緒和思維及行為的關係通常是一種交換系統。多數情緒在某些思考模式下有正面影響，在其他思考模式下則有負面影響。這和安全感有關。舉例說明，不建議任何人在恐慌來襲時開車。此外，愛侶發生爭吵時，一方或雙方往往流於情緒氾濫。這時最好各退一步，平靜下來，以便理性思考及行動。

註2
我無意輕視那些面臨臨床問題的人，有些人負面情緒已經失控，還有一些人總是擔心負面情緒降臨，以上兩者都需要協助。面對臨床問題卻拒絕尋求治療，可能源自現實面的限制，好比經濟不允許。然而，不尋求幫助有時候是因為人們以為需要採取大規模又漫長的行動。有些負面情緒即使已經達到頂點，令人覺得難以去除，往往可以在非常短的時間內大幅好轉，焦慮尤其符合這個特質（參見卡珊登等人的著作Can a One-Hour Session of Exposure Treatment Modulate Startle Response and Reduce Spider Fears?）在認知行為療法（cognitive behavioral therapy）或接受與承諾療法（acceptance and commitment therapy）等心理治療當中獲益的人，通常第一個月就有進展。

下列是應付負面情緒的對策，雖然看起來步驟很多，但每一步都只需要幾秒鐘，反覆練習就能將它們化為下意識的反應。

步驟一：放慢呼吸
心理解讀身體發出的生理訊號，便會產生情緒。如果情緒變得緊繃，已經激動到令你思慮不清，此時只要放作非常緩慢平穩（彷彿你正在慢慢吹氣球）。當你慢慢吐氣，吸氣會自動調整。只要大約進行四到六次的緩慢呼吸，心跳和其他生理系統便會回復到較為平靜的狀態。

步驟二：認清每一種情緒
認清每一種情緒，讓你不再不知所措，還能找到處理它們的方法。你必須分清楚焦慮、憤怒、羞愧等等，最簡單的方式就是上谷歌搜尋情緒列表，從表中找到符合你的描述。如果你有孩子，請教育他們準確認清每一種情緒。這不僅是良好的教養方式，也可以增進你處理情緒的能力。
對自己的情緒有清楚認知的人，比較不會運用不良的自我調整機制（比如沉浸在壞習慣當中），遭到拒絕時反應不會太大，也比較少感到焦慮和沮喪。小孩每週在課堂上只要抽出二十到三十分鐘，學習認識各種情緒，就能增進人際關係和學業成績。

步驟三：接受人生本來就是苦樂參半
這句話表面上聽起來或許很無情，但它提醒你一個重點：你本來就沒有資格只經歷正面情緒。誠如前文所述，某些情緒低潮不但沒有傷害性，事實上還能讓你保持最佳狀態。當人處於數種不同情緒之下，往往有最好的表現。
有能力接受並容忍負面情緒，這將為你開啟邁向成功的大道，你會選擇最有意義而不是最舒適的那條路，並激發內在潛能。舉例說明，如果你能忍受情緒低潮，便不需要迴避令你焦慮的對話。即使你覺得自己笨手笨腳，依然可以採取有意義的行動，好比追求夢想。
如果你不怕被情緒低潮打垮，不怕因此而失控，或者做出違反本性的事，你很可能安然度過這段期間，不會感到痛苦萬分。

步驟四：憐憫正處於情緒低潮的自己
啟動自憐模式；換句話說，當你的感覺無關快樂或滿足時，不要批評或打擊自己，反而要善待自己，認清你只是有了情緒，不會造成太大影響。不管你認為情緒是如何出現的，或者你是不是導致它出現的「禍首」，都要執行這個步驟，因為你值得受到最基本的同情。

步驟五：判斷情緒是不是錯誤警報
懷疑、焦慮、憤怒、罪惡感之類的情緒，有時候會沒來由地浮現。情緒是用來保護我們，但這個警報系統並不完善，當中暗藏一些錯誤訊號。有時候，你很清楚某個情緒是錯誤警報，但你也有不知道的時候。基本上，如果你常常浮現某種特定情緒，那麼它很有可能就是錯誤警報。
你不一定都清楚某個情緒是不是錯誤警報，所謂的接受情緒低潮也包括全盤接受這些「身分不明」的情緒。

步驟六：判斷情緒有沒有提供有用訊息
情緒有沒有告訴你和自身或者目前情況有關的訊息？它能不能幫助你採取適當行動？
……
有個方法或許管用：你可以根據特定場合的需要設計一種暗示自己的方法，提醒自己情緒正在為你效勞，它引領你做出最好的決定，為你提供能量，或者讓行動更純熟。舉個例子，你可以把自己看做將軍，情緒則是忠誠的士兵。或者你是電影導演，情緒是演員。怎麼想都行，有效最重要。問問自己：「就算搞清楚負面情緒的存在是為了幫助我成功，那又如何？我到底能獲得什麼幫助？」在特殊情況下，你的士兵／演員或許會發出錯誤警報，但一般來說，他們的存在都是為了替你效勞。

步驟七：找出所有自毀反應
試著找找看，有沒有任何自毀反應（比如肢體語言或聲調）正妨礙你實現重要目標。……人陷入情緒低潮時，自毀思維和行為往往不會主動跳出來表明身分，它們通常難以捉摸。好比你感到抑鬱或孤單時，可能不會注意自己的聲調或肢體語言出現對他人反感的跡象，即使那並非你的本意。事實上，當一個人接受量身打造的認知行為療法時，醫生的角色是協助患者找出那些自身無法察覺的自毀模式。當你已經盡最大努力，負面情緒依然對生活造成傷害，不妨考慮接受認知行為療法。閱讀蓋‧ 溫奇（Guy Winch）的《心理醫師的傷心急救手冊》（Emotional First Aid），也可以幫助你了解負面情緒的自毀反應，此書特別著重於協助讀者應付孤單與悲傷。

.

以上文字取自
與焦慮和解2：破除自我批判、極端思維、逃避心理，洞悉壞習慣根源，使你過得更快樂的自我療癒指南
https://www.books.com.tw/products/0010856265

高寶書版
https://www.facebook.com/gobooks3/

.

5/24 基隆免費公益講座_創作我的幸福
https://www.facebook.com/events/2994369237288959/

已額滿_7/16-17免費台北市教師研習_非暴力溝通_如何讀懂愛的語言
https://www.facebook.com/events/519814295382140/

11/7 三重免費公益講座_樂讀親子共學系列講座_以善意應對青少年情緒人際問題
https://www.facebook.com/events/189917322447609/

相信自己是夠好的媽媽：是犧牲，還是責任？是妥協，還是平衡？放下對母愛的執著，恢復你的生命彈性，重新找回愛自己的方式
博客來：https://bit.ly/2vhVD9s
讀書花園：https://bit.ly/2GEA9dH
誠品：https://bit.ly/2W4E3Sq
金石堂：https://bit.ly/2vhQ6jh

【裝修顧問 案例分享 － 天生裝修佬】

到底d錢放係做水電！？定係訂製傢私呢！？🤔

錢係無可能無限多，所以每個戶主都要係進行裝修前做決擇。😣今次單位，屬於樓齡尚算新的元朗大型私人屋苑。

戶主原本係住村屋，今次放棄大空間，為左小朋友成長，所以選擇上返樓呀。😌

佢地都好意志堅，好知道自己要d咩。油漆加全屋訂製傢私。包括主人房的地台床，小朋友的組合床。仲有客廳可以用黎收納個有歷史紀念的 「老虎機」呀🤩🤩

小朋友房條梯，其實係為媽咪而設的。因為呢個鈄度，先夠媽咪提個小朋友落床😏

總結：
如果有大量傢私需要訂製，戶主們要好好思考出圖的重要性。講緊唔係內場廠果d圖呀，係包括空間立體圖，咁樣先可以最有效了解出黎的效果。以免發生誤會🤗🤗🤗

A-One Design

=================================================
"裝修佬 - 香港一站式網上裝修平台"現誠邀各類型裝修工程公司、設計公司，提供完工單位、工程照片，有意請投稿至 hkdecoman@gmail.com，附上其中一項工程照片及簡介，照片會由裝修佬編輯部潤飾、刊登。

若有任何裝修,室內設計,家居维修,裝修物料的新聞稿或廣告合作，歡迎inbox或電郵給我們。

免費度尺/報價: https://hkdecoman.com/measure
皇牌裝修防伏班：edu.hkdecoman.com/lessons

【玳瑚師父客人見證】 《不過八月十五的預言》
The Prophecy: Not Beyond Mid-Autumn (English version below)

文 / 李季謙 女士 Written by Ms. Lee Ji Qian

撥電給玳瑚師父的那一天下午，我乘坐的德士，正駕駛在中央快速公路上。那是2006年中秋節的前兩個星期，記憶猶新。眼看我外婆的病情每況愈下，我迫切地想知道外婆還能活多久。那時的我從事空服員的工作，我擔心萬一外婆過世，我在國外無法第一時間趕回來看她最後一面，怎麽辦?

在車上，我不斷祈求玳瑚師父告訴我外婆的壽命還有多久。他不肯，他說做師父的其中一個避忌就是不算壽命，因爲很多人嘴巴說無所謂，知道答案後，心裡卻會七上八下，家人甚至會責怪師父嚇人。那時，外婆已皈依在蓮生活佛門下，我告訴師父家裡只有我和外婆是皈依的佛教徒，我很希望外婆過世時，我能夠為她做臨終關懷八小時，引導她往投極樂。

在電話的另一端，師父沉默許久，一句話也不說。我想慘了，如果師父不肯告訴我，我該如何是好？如何向公司請假？

「不過八月十五。」

什麽，師父，你說什麽？中秋節八月十五？師父，我都還沒告訴你外婆的生辰，你只知道她的名字和生肖，就能斷定嗎？

師父重覆說了一遍，並溫馨地告訴我到時遇到任何問題時，儘管撥電給他。就這樣，我們的通話結束了。

農曆八月十四的早上，在中央醫院復診時，醫生說外婆的血壓忽然降低，需要入院輸血。我便為外婆辦理入院手續，和照料外婆的女傭一直陪伴在外婆左右。幾個星期來，飛行穿梭與五大洲之間，熬夜時差，加上多次帶外婆來往醫院，每一次都花好幾個鐘頭在醫院等待，身心已疲憊不堪。我看著在病床上的外婆，輸血後她氣色開始好轉，醫生說一切穩定。外婆知道我很累，屢勸我回家休息。但師父的預言一直懸挂在我心中，本想留下來陪外婆一晚，但那天的入院來的突然，我沒準備任何衣物。那時的我住在兀蘭，離新加坡中央醫院很遠。我先生在一旁也勸我回家好好休息，才有更好的精神繼續和外婆說佛法及一同唸佛。

我猶豫著。師父為我做的預言從來沒有錯過。但外婆氣色之佳，是近幾個月從未曾有的。我這幾個月，也一直都有修法回向給外婆，可能奇跡出現了吧！

于是，農曆八月十五的淩晨一點二十分左右，我回家了。

早上十點二十分，女傭打了通電話給我。她不大會說英文，只是很情急地說外婆想見我，要我快點來醫院。我天真地以爲是外婆睡醒後，想見我。

早上十點四十五分，表姐打電話給我，哭著說外婆已過世了。那時的我，腦海裡立刻浮現師父所說的「不過八月十五。」 連半天都過不了。我的心一直往下沉。爲什麽我問了師父卻又不淨信他的話？爲什麽我沒有把師父的預言告訴我的家人？爲什麽我就不能在醫院熬多一天？生死皆天定，我怎麽不自量力地以爲自己那點修法回響就能改寫外婆的生死呢？原來人說死前的迴光返照是這麽一回事！天啊！我竟然那麽不孝，讓外婆過世時，身邊只有一個女傭，一個親人都沒有！

在醫院撥打電話給師父時，他很快就接聽了。第一句話一說完，我已泣不成聲了。師父說他一早起床，就不斷地有我外婆和我的影子，他知道事情不出他預料中，因此一直在等待我的電話。師父不但沒有怪我不夠相信他，還提醒我要為外婆做的佛事，也開導我說八月十五是月圓圓滿之日，外婆在這日離去也象徵她的一生已圓滿，她十多年的病業終于還清了，從病苦中解脫了，我應該為她高興。師父知道我性格衝動，再三叮嚀我在外婆停柩期間，勿和家人起衝突。

這也是我第二件遺憾的事。我那時學佛尚淺，包容、平等對待和處事圓融的道理，我無法實踐。我不但在外婆的遺體前爲了她的生後事，向家人耍狠，在喪禮上，因爲不苟同他們的做法，脾氣更是一「發」不可收拾。說什麽佛教徒，真是貽笑大方！我怎麽就沒有好好學師父那般的度量呢？

外婆過世後的那七天裡，家人陸續都夢到她回來和他們敍舊。唯獨我沒有。我很納悶。外婆臨終前，唯一想見的人是我，爲何卻沒托夢給我？她不是有話跟我說嗎？（其實是我多想在外婆面前跟她說萬萬個對不起。）想著，想著，我想到師父常教我在睡前的結界法，保護自己在睡夢中不被鬼魅魍魎干擾盜氣，出國在外也能平安。我睡前也必定會結界，這法非常實用也有真實的法力！

那晚，在紐約的酒店裡，我冒了一個險，沒行結界法。當晚，我就夢到自己在兒時住家附近（也是外婆的舊家）的停車場。我不知不覺走到一輛米色的「馬賽地」旁邊，低頭一看，咦，是外婆，穿著那熟悉的衣裳，坐在駕駛座位上。我叫她，以廣東話問：「婆婆，妳會駕車啊？」（外婆生前沒有駕駛執照）　她轉頭，跟我說：「幫公公皈依吧！」 我答：「皈依啊？好啊！」

我就猛然醒來了，趕緊看時間，是清晨五點多。師父曾說在早上五點至七點之間做的夢是真實的。我梳洗後，即刻撥長途電話給在新加坡的師父。外公已過世十多年，在夢裡，外婆要我為外公皈依時，我已知道他尚未投胎，生前沒聽聞過佛法，更別説往生極樂了。而當外婆提到皈依時，我心裡的直覺說她指的是皈依我們的根本上師，蓮生活佛，絕非他人。最神的是，夢裡外婆的車和家人在喪禮中焚化給她的，是一模一樣的！

師父在電話中花了一個鐘頭的時間，耐心地教導我。他說我得先回到外婆生前的居所，向那裡的祖先牌位請示外公是否真的想皈依蓮生活佛。除了攜帶外公生前愛吃的食物，我也得先上香供養家門外供奉的天公、土地神和門神，祈求祂們允許我外公的魂魄入屋。

回囯後的隔天，我和兩位表姪女一起到外婆家，一一跟著師父的指示照做。我們三人上了香，跪在祖先牌位前，呼叫外公時，不可思議的事情發生了！刹那間，我們三人同時感覺到有股強烈的陰氣從我們背後的大門進來，再看到一個黑影從我們身旁快速地飃過，到祖先牌位的供桌上，頓時，我們全身都起了雞皮疙瘩。卜杯請示外公是否要皈依蓮生活佛時，連續得了三個聖杯！我的夢是真實的！師父教的真管用！

當下，我既讚嘆又感恩玳瑚師父，是他引我皈依蓮生活佛。在他之前，我根本沒聼過蓮生活佛的盛名。因爲我的皈依，我好幾個家人也皈依。師父常說死人的眼睛是雪亮的。外公生前非常疼愛我，沒想到，我和外婆的皈依也會讓他想向佛了！我是多麽的雀躍啊！我讚嘆師父那麽好眼光，有福份，一生只皈依一個上師，而且是一位已開悟成佛的上師，怪不得師父的本領那麽了得。我更感恩他不辭辛勞地廣揚佛法，讓我們這些門外漢能學到人生最大的一件事到底是什麽。

我是一個差勁的弟子，脾氣又不好，兩次被師父「停學」，每一次長達半年，更曾被沒收所有的筆記和課本。但在「停學」期間，師父仍慈悲教導我如何處理外婆的生後事。可能你覺得他是修行人，是玄學師父，不給他錢，他仍然應該幫你消災解厄，給他錢，他更要幫你逢凶化吉。我的看法卻是，自己的問題本來就應該自己解決。沒有人是「應該」幫你的，師父也不是一個你能用錢買的人，更不可以因爲師父沒有幫你這一次或看法不一，便因「愛」成「恨」，來個「秦始王燒書」 般地把過去師父幫過自己的恩都忘得一乾二淨，再來個翻臉不認「師」。這般無情無義的人我看的實在太多了。

這兩天趕緊將這篇個人見證寫完，並翻譯，已此供養玳瑚師父為他的「生日」禮物。農曆八月十五是玳瑚師父皈依真佛之日。他常說這一天才是他真正的生日，皈依學佛前的日子懵懂無意，虛度光陰，貴為佛子後，自己才真正「活」起來，成爲有智慧有貢獻的能人。兒子的事業這麽有意義，我想師父的父母一定會以他為榮。

如果你也像我一樣，曾經請示過師父，卻在信與不信之間進退兩難，希望我這篇文章能給你一點啓發，更盼你不會有我這般的遺憾。

祝大家中秋節快樂。

我在此也誠心地祝玳瑚師父「生日」快樂。謝謝您在無止境的萬難中，仍堅持帶給我們光明。我祈禱，願您的一生有如今晚的月輪一樣地美麗、圓滿、吉祥，願您早日修成正果，速登彼岸。阿彌陀佛。

-----------------------------

It was one afternoon in the year 2006, 2 weeks from the Mid-Autumn Festival. I was travelling along the Central Expressway in a cab when I made a call to Master Dai Hu. The memory was still fresh. My grandmother's health was deteriorating by the day, and I desperately wanted to know how much longer she could hold on. I was working as a flight attendant at that time, and the fear was that I might be overseas and not able to see her the final time when she breathed her last.

During the taxi ride, I pleaded incessantly for Master Dai Hu to answer my burning question. He refused. He said that as a Master, it was a taboo to predict one's life span because the answer would drive many towards anxiety and hysteria, even when they seemed nonchalant initially. At that time, my grandmother had already taken refuge under Living Buddha Lian-Sheng, and I told Master Dai Hu that since my grandmother and myself were the only Buddhists who had taken refuge in the family, I really hoped to provide some form of hospice care, and perform the proper rites during the crucial 8-hour time window after her passing to guide her towards rebirth into the Pure Land.

There was total silence on the other end of the line for a long time. Master Dai Hu did not utter a single sound. I was doomed, I thought to myself, if Master refused to tell me, what should I do? How could I apply for leave of absence from my employer?

"It would not be beyond the fifteenth day of the Eighth Lunar Month". Finally the silence was broken.

What, Master, what did you just? You meant the Mid-Autumn Festival? But I had not even tell you the birth date and time of my grandmother. You only knew her name and Chinese Zodiac Sign, how could you be so sure?

Master Dai Hu repeated his prediction again, and told me warmly that I could call him anytime if I encountered any problem. With that, our conversation ended.

This was the fourteenth day of the Eighth Lunar Month. The doctor told me that Grandma's blood count suffered a drastic drop, and had to be admitted to hospital for a blood transfusion. After I had done the paper works for the admittance, I stayed with her, together with her maid. I was totally physically and mentally exhausted. Flying around the world had taken its toll on me, with the late nights and jet lags, not to mention the many hospital trips I made with Grandmother over the past few weeks and every hospital visit spanned over a few hours. I looked at Grandma who was lying on her hospital bed. She looked much better after the blood transfusion and the doctor said all was well. Grandma knew I was washed out and kept asking me to go home and rest. Master Dai Hu's prediction was constantly on my mind. I had wanted to stay for one more night to accompany Grandma but the hospital admission that day was unexpected and I did not prepare any overnight bag. I was staying at Woodlands at that time and it was far from SGH. My husband who was by my side advised me to go home to rest too as he felt that I needed to be in a better condition to continue sharing the Dharma and reciting the Buddha's name with Grandma.

I hesitated. Master's predictions for me always rang true. But my Grandma looked quite good, something which I have not seen in months. Furthermore, I have been doing spiritual practices and dedicating the merits to her. Perhaps a miracle had happened!

At about 120am on the fifteenth day of the Eighth Lunar Month, I went home.

My phone rang at 1020am. It was the maid. She was not really conversant in English but told me anxiously that Grandma wanted to see me, and asked if I was on the way. I naively shrugged it off, thinking it might just be Grandma wanting to see me after her sleep.

Another phone call came in at 1045am, the sobbing and muffled voice of my cousin on the other end, telling me that Grandma had passed away. At that very moment, the words of Master "Not beyond the fifteenth day of the Eighth Lunar Month" reverberated through me. My heart sank to the rock bottom. Why did I ask Master for his prediction when I was not prepared to have complete faith in him? Why had I not told this prediction to my family members? Why could I not just stay in hospital with Grandma for that one more night? Life and death are both predestined. How could I think so highly of myself and believe that meagre merits from my spiritual practice was sufficient to rewrite her fate? Now I realized the truth in the saying that a person before his or her imminent death would look as if he or she is well. Goodness gracious! I was so unfilial to had left Grandma alone, on her death bed with no family member but only the maid beside her!

I phoned Master Dai Hu at the hospital and he answered very quickly. Once the first words were spoken, I had already broken down in sobs. Master said that he woke up early that morning with a premonition. He kept "seeing" images of my Grandma and myself, and knew in an instant that his prediction had prevailed and had been waiting for my call. Not only did Master not reprimand me for not having enough faith in him, he even reminded me on the list of things to do for Grandma's funeral. He counseled me, saying that for Grandma to bade this world farewell on the fifteenth day of the Eighth Lunar Month, it signified that she had lived a full and complete life, and that her karmic debt of suffering from illnesses the past 10 over years had finally been repaid. He said I should be glad that Grandma had been released from her pains and sufferings. Master was well aware of my rash temperament, and reminded me many times not to squabble with the family members during the funeral wake.

This has to be the other regrettable thing in this episode. My understanding of the Dharma was shallow then, and I did not practice the ways of endurance, equality, and did not consider the feelings of others in handling things. Not only did I pressurize my family members over the arrangements of Grandma's funeral, my bad temper flared uncontrollably during the funeral as I was not in agreement with the rest of the family members. All this talk about being a Buddhist turned me into a laughing stock! Why could I not learn from Master, who was and still is always so magnanimous and gracious?

During the seven-day period after Grandma's passing, many family members dreamed of her continually. I was the only one not to have seen her in my dreams. This was very puzzling for me. At the time of her passing, Grandma was calling out for me. Why did she not appear in my dreams? Did she not have anything to say to me? (Truthfully, I wanted very much to say a million sorry to her in person). As I was pondering over this matter, I remembered a demarcation method taught to me by Master, to protect myself against spirits stealing my life essence and disrupting my sleep, and to stay safe while I was overseas. This demarcation was something I always did before going to bed, and it really proved itself as a useful and powerful Dharma practice.

That night, in my hotel room in New York, I took a risk and forgo the demarcation procedure before I slept. That very night, I dreamed of Grandma! I was at the car park, near my childhood residence (also near Grandma's previous residence). I was walking along a pavement and ended up beside a cream-coloured Mercedes Benz. I looked down, and there she was! My Grandma was wearing her usual clothing and seated in the driver's seat. I called out to her and asked in Cantonese, "Grandma, you know how to drive?" Grandma did not have a driving license when she was alive. She turned to speak to me, "Help your Grandfather to take refuge!" I answered, "Take refuge? Ok!"

I jolted out from sleep, and hurriedly looked at the clock. It was five plus in the morning. Master once said that dreams occurring between 5am - 7am were real. I washed up, and called Master who was in Singapore immediately. My Grandfather has been dead for more than 10 years. In my dream, when Grandma wanted me to take refuge for Grandfather, I knew then that Grandfather had yet to go through reincarnation. He did not hear the Dharma during his lifetime, so he could not have been reborn into the Pure Land. When Grandma spoke of taking refuge, my intuition told me that she was referring to our Root Guru, Living Buddha Lian-Sheng, whom we took refuge in, and no one else. The next amazing thing was that the car in which Grandma was seated in the dream looked exactly the same as the one the family members burnt as an offering to her during the funeral!

Master spent an hour on the phone with me, patiently guiding me. He said I needed to return to my Grandma's house and seek answers from the ancestors at the ancestral tablet if my Grandfather really wanted to take refuge in Living Buddha Lian-Sheng. Other than preparing my Grandfather's favorite snacks, I had to offer incense and other offerings to the Jade Emperor, the Earth Deity as well as the Door Guardians, who were enshrined outside my Grandma's home, and request for smooth entry of my Grandfather's spirit into the house.

A few days upon my return to Singapore, I went to my Grandma's house, together with my two nieces. I followed Master's instruction to the tee. The three of us offered incense, knelt down in front of the ancestral tablet and called for my Grandfather. Something extraordinary happened next! In the flash of an eye, the 3 of us felt a strong Yin energy coming in from the main door, and witnessed a black shadowy figure slid past us in speed, and onto the ancestral tablet. Momentarily, our hair stood on end and all of us felt goosebumps on our skins. When I threw the divination blocks and asked if it was Grandfather's wish to take refuge in Living Buddha Lian-Sheng, the answer was positive with three consecutive yes! My dream was real after all! The method which Master taught really worked well!

Instantly, I was in awe, and at the same time, extremely grateful to Master Dai Hu. He was the one who guided me to take refuge in Living Buddha Lian-Sheng. Before that, I never hear of Him. Because of my taking refuge, a few of my family members followed suit. Master often said that the dead had the brightest eyes. Grandfather doted on me very much when he was alive, and never did I expect Grandfather to follow my Grandma and I in taking refuge and seek the Dharma. I was totally elated! I praised Master for his foresight, and his great fortune of taking refuge in a one and only one Guru Master, one who had attained perfect Enlightenment. It is no wonder that Master Dai Hu has such great skills too. I am also grateful for his relentless pursuits to propagate the Dharma, enabling layman like us to learn, understand and prepare for the biggest event of our life.

I am a lousy disciple with bad temperament. Twice, I was booted out by Master and not allowed to learn from him for as long as 6 months. My notes and books were confiscated. However, even when I did not see Master during those periods, he showed compassion and guided me through the ordeal of my Grandma's passing. Perhaps you might think that it is his duty as a spiritual practitioner and Chinese metaphysicist to show compassion and help others in need even if no money is paid to him, and if money is paid, all the more he should help the clients out of their troubles.

My take on this: We must take responsibility for our own problems. No one owe us any form of help or assistance. And Master Dai Hu is definitely not someone you can buy with money. If he does not render his help to you or both of you have a different opinion on certain issues, you cannot go from having admiration to bearing resentment towards him over that. I have seen too many ungrateful people who erase all the memories of the good that Master had once done for them, pretty much like how Emperor Qin burnt the books, with no trace left and turned their backs on Master, like they had never known him.

Over the last two days, I rushed to complete this testimonial as a present to Master Dai Hu on his "birthday". It was this auspicious day, the fifteenth day of the Eighth Lunar Month, that Master Dai Hu took refuge in True Buddha and became a Buddhist. He often said that this day felt more like his real birthday. Before learning the Dharma and taking refuge, he led a life of meaningless existence, squandering away youth and time. Only when he became a Buddhist did he truly come to life, begin to live in wisdom and gain great ability, while making useful and meaningful contributions to the society. With such a noble career, I guess his parents must be very proud of having a son like him.

If you are to be in my shoes one day, having asked Master for advice but still teetering on the border and unsure if you should believe him, I hope my story will inspire you and not let you suffer the same regrets as I did.

Wishing everyone a Happy Mid-Autumn Festival.

And I genuinely wish Master Dai Hu a "Happy Birthday". Thank you for bringing the Light to us, despite the endless obstacles you constantly battle. I pray that your life will be as beautiful, complete and auspicious as the full moon tonight. May you soon attain the fruit of perfect and complete Enlightenment. Amituofo.

www.masterdaihu.com/the-prophecy-not-beyond-mid-autumn/

第一個單字是 hit 達到某個程度，例句是： U.S. coronavirus cases hit 2 million.

美國確診數突破兩百萬，目前仍然是疫情最嚴重的國家，突破兩百萬，來到這個嚴重的程度，我們可以用 hit 這個動詞。疫情很嚴重，不過川普好像不太在乎捏，從下個單字，我們看得出來，他比較在乎，能不能再當一屆總統。
https://globalnews.ca/news/7047844/us-coronavirus-cases-2-million/

第二個單字是 rally 大型集會，例句是：Trump will restart political rallies this month despite coronavirus pandemic.

剛剛說到，美國疫情很嚴重，那不是應該避免大型集會嗎？No no，川普不在乎。川普說，這個月，他要開始辦造勢活動，來來來一群人擠在一起，喊個夠！什麼保持距離，免！口罩，免！大家 high 起來！這百分之百會加速疫情傳染... 這種大型集會就是 rally。https://www.npr.org/sections/coronavirus-live-updates/2020/06/08/872588125/trump-to-restart-political-rallies-this-month-despite-coronavirus-pandemic

第三個單字是 moratorium 暫停（正式協議），例句是：Amazon announced a one-year moratorium on providing police facial recognition technology.

亞馬遜公司（Amazon）宣布，暫停提供人臉辨識科技給警察，一年後再說。事情是這樣的，亞馬遜有人臉辨識科技，原本會提供給美國的警察，幫忙辨識壞人。結果這科技，竟然也在搞種族歧視，看到無辜的黑人，常常錯誤辨識，亂認成嫌疑犯。欸，最近美國警察殺黑人，才引發大規模抗議，這個氣氛下，亞馬遜還是乖乖暫停吧。暫停是 moratorium。https://techcrunch.com/2020/06/10/amazon-rekognition-moratorium/

第四個單字是 contribute 貢獻，例句是： Afghan refugees are contributing to Turkey's fight against the coronavirus.
難民幫大忙！土耳其境內有些阿富汗難民，他們也為土耳其盡一份心力，幫忙對抗武漢肺炎。這些難民製作口罩跟肥皂，提供給土耳其人民，非常積極、非常溫暖～貢獻就是 contribute。https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2020/06/afghan-refugees-helping-turkey-fight-coronavirus-200610093840716.html

最後一個單字是 centenarian 百歲人瑞，例句是：Can the ‘Centenarian Olympics’ help you live longer?

你知道嗎？有個奧運大賽，只有超過 100 歲的人，才能參加。這是「百歲人瑞奧運大賽」如果想參賽，這輩子都要好好鍛鍊身體，這樣 100 歲的時候，才能跑能跳。老年生活，不用臥病在床，很幸福耶！你也可以設下這個目標，100 歲時，我們一起參加這個特別的奧運大賽！百歲人瑞，就是 centenarian。
https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20200520-can-the-centenarian-olympics-help-you-live-longer

恭喜你！今天學了 5 個新單字，還聽了 5 則國際大事！你喜歡這樣聽新聞、學英文嗎？希望你可以訂閱我們的 podcast，然後為我們留 5 顆星的評價。如果有什麼意見，歡迎留言，敘述欄裡面有連結喔～謝謝收聽，下次通勤見 ❤️