JANGAN IZINKAN IBU LAHIRKAN TUANNYA
Masa awal aku kahwin dengan isteri aku, aku dapat pakej 4 orang anak. Alhamdulillah. Yang mana 2 daripada 4 ni istimewa sikit. Dua-dua aspergers. Sorang ADD sorang lagi ADHD. Paling mencabar sekali tau tak apa? Anak-anak ni sebelum kehadiran aku, diorang ni di manjakan betul. Cukup manja! Semua nak, dapat. Tak boleh kena tegur, mesti menaangis dan membentak. 3 lelaki, sorang perempuan. Masa tu umur yang sulung 14 tahun. Yang second 12 tahun...
Continue ReadingDON ' T ALLOW MOTHER TO BORN HER MASTER
When I married my wife, I got a package of 4 children. Thank God. Which 2 of the 4 is a little special. Both aspergers. Another ADD another ADHD. It's most challenging to know it's okay? These kids before my presence, they are being pampered right. Pretty spoiled! All want, got it. Can't be told, must cry and snap. 3 men, a woman. At that time the eldest was 14 years old. The second 12 years old. Third 9 years old. Fourth of 6 years old girl.
First time entering the family, I've had a meeting done. With gangster style, long hair braids. I'm doing a LIVE FB meeting with children. In the meeting, I just entered the family, so follow my rules. I don't follow their rules.
At the beginning, many people who are nearest have started tripping and spreading stories, not saying that I will hit the kids. The swing bowl is right who reads people from this person's use.
Remember the early marriage, my wife always reminds me of me. If these kids promise anything they need to be fulfilled, they will cry badly and scream. Hard to persuade. Sometimes I want to break my breath and cry. The other one is ADHD if he cries, he can't be angry, he has to say it carefully. Because later he will be raging and coming hyper. The one who added is his own attitude. It's just his problem that he doesn't take the port. The eldest is the most pamper. Ask for whatever the confirmation gets. After that it's urgent to work.
I really don't feel like I'm suitable at all. What should I do? Wash his mother first. My wife cried when she washed her first. I said it's simple. I don't want my son to grow up to die and get everything he wants to wear. Nothing, tomorrow won't be given, he rebel like going crazy.
Everything that my wife says can't do, I prove it to my wife, everything that she thinks is wrong. I made it. I didn't see anyone doing what my wife said. I just tried to bring MCD, then I parked at the Tomyam shop. Look at all the faces that are slammed. But no one is crying.
That's where it all started. Until one part I saw my wife still wrongly. I said it's simple.
′′ Want something big, need a big sacrifice. If you maintain like this, it's too wrong that you have to follow all your child's wishes, you're afraid to say NO and then you're crying and tired of your brother Trust me. Just like this, you'll lose your brother. Choose. ′′ ′′
Hah my wife was shaking at that time.
Yes, it's not easy to fight the mother's instinct. I really understand. But have to remember, you want to be sad until when you just want to entertain the extreme motherhood instincts? How do you want your child to grow up? What's he doing today, he's already big tomorrow. You're poor, he asks for something you can't fulfill. You think he got it? That's the wrong time he just said this sentence.
′′ Why is my mom not like someone else's mom. It's okay. I am not important ′′
Heart was shaking at that time. He didn't tell me 100 times, once didn't let him release such a painful sentence?
I'm nothing, kids like this even more men, have to grow up to be men. Not a bapok, not a Kpop. Man. The world will come far more evil. Responsibility is far bigger. It is compulsory to grow up to be a man. I repeat.
MEN.
That's when my wife slowly became a mad mother. Kah kah kah. The kids were shocked at that time. Suddenly mom is good at screaming? Suddenly mom is good at tunjal head? Suddenly mom is good at slapping? Suddenly mom dares to throw her phone against the wall?
Most power if a child I say near her mother,
′′ Mom doesn't love me, I hate mom.."
If my wife used to hear this verse, she will feel sinful and crying. Now you know what my wife answer?
′′ Once you hate me, 100 times I hate you.."
Stunned again child. Feels like the tactical of playing sentiment is not going to be. Continue to continue doing homework.
After that the scene of running away from the middle of the night, haa my wife is already cuak. Look for me to tell my child to run home. Cleaning up the bag. If you're as a mother, are you rocking? 10-year-olds when they were running home. Other siblings are busy trying not to run away, they insist on running.
I told my wife I'm happy je.
′′ Do not persuade. Just ask him to run the house faster. Go help her pack the bag. Do not worry. I used to threaten my mother like this when I was small. When my mother is stupid, I stay outside for a while and then I will go home because it's scary outside the dark.. if you persuade, don't run away, believe Tomorrow he's busy threatening to run again."
My wife went down and asked her to leave her house faster. This kid won't go out after opening the door. Look at the dark outside. He immediately opened the saji headscarf, making him hungry. It's so hard to look at it.
Want to turn into a Lion, it looks evil. Many will talk about this. You say you don't love your children. If this part is not strong, it will be stupid to be eaten by these words. But you have to believe one thing. This mother and father knows her child better than all of you. He knows so much. Know which limit he can make or not. We who watch from outside don't pretend to teach other people's children, teach our own children first to let go. Look at our children today he appreciate us how.
I was worst being criticized at that time.
He said since my wife married me, my wife's attitude has changed. Getting harder. Fierce with the kids. And many more lah. I'm lazy to take a port. The one who speaks is a woman who has never tasted anything. Work is great. So bored listening to it. But I'm cooking so much, it's normal that the sound of this person's confirmation since childhood has never lived hard, the child and the one that is like diva is usually the same. Just deaf the ear. Focus on the mission for the good of the child to come.
After 3 years, I recently had a meeting with all my children. I ask, did you notice that mom used to be different from now?
All bobbing. Getting more ferocious and crazy people say.
I'm so happy to hear. Let go of that I said.
′′ Try all of you to look back at this day. What's the difference? Neno 8 years old can be brushed by school clothes. Already able to wipe Ayra out. Luth 10 years can wash everyone's dishes. Hoze is the most improvement. From my own world today, you are the most helping to work in your house. 13 years old, washing clothes, hanging clothes, sleeping ayraa, bathing ayraa. And many more. Anish, you are the eldest brother. Thank God. No more pushy. See you already understand the reality of being a brother. Every morning sitting in the kitchen helping mom cook.. that's okay. Proud for a while Dedi. Dedi is nothing, you ask Dedi's siblings if they are rude to his mother, what happens to them. Must eat Dedi's feet. You become a son, you have to be a protector to your mother. Don't make it a slave mother."
All sighs. I'm connecting again.
′′ Do you know why this Seremban house Dedi doesn't install air conditioner near Indeed Dedi doesn't let mom install air conditioner. Let me sleep hot. Learning how to use a fan. Dedi used to grow up but never sleeps in air conditioner, thank God I grew up healthy. Dedi wants anything can't just get like that. So men have to learn how to feel hard. So that tomorrow, you will learn to be grateful. I will remember your parents when they are happy. You'll be close to siblings, tomorrow this is what you'll laugh back when you tell the story. Trust me. All of these are the sweetest memories. Mother and father don't know when will die. Maybe tomorrow we die, at least Anish can take care of the younger siblings."
Everyone was laughing at that time. My eldest child will interrupt in a while.
′′ Dedi, but honestly Anish likes the current mother from mother before. Even though it's fierce, but it's true when I remember it again. All of us are good at all. I just noticed that someone else is 8 years old but doesn't even know how to take care of the baby who is a year old and shower and defecate. Luth has changed a lot. No more crying. Hardworking. Hoze has changed a lot of crazy. Playing with the phone. There's only one problem, when you have a relative, you can come, don't sit in the Just sit down once. Anyway, I swear, Anish loves the mother who was now from the old times. Even though the current mother is crazy saiko! Haha. Mom, you are Queen Of My Heart! Mother is crazy, before Anish didn't understand a lot. When Anish sees mom struggle, Anish becomes a pity. Just saw all the sacrifices of the mother for all of us."
Others bobbing heads agree and laugh with what brother anish he said.
All impressed when I remember back. Until neno's turn, she keeps crying. She really apologizes near her mom.
The most powerful, they are siblings when their aunt wants to ask them to come out. Each one has completed the job of who managed his / her sister's clothes this year, who will beat his / her younger sibling's pampers, who will manage his / her sister's pampers. All of them think for themselves. Talk to each other and manage the equipment of his little brother who is a year old. No need to have a mother with her dedi.
Power, isn't it? Two Aspergers, an ordinary person. The eldest has entered MRSM. It means that the number two child of ADD is taking over.
Even when I'm going back to hometown, my wife just gave me an order. They all clean up their own bags. My wife doesn't even mix a single dust. My wife looks like a big boss today. All homeworks are managed by the child. My wife's duty is to cook. Wash clothes, dry clothes, wash dishes, wash toilets, throw away garbage, shower ayra for a year, all the kids who manage it.
If I don't move, I won't let my wife shout out to other children. But mad at the eldest child. Let the eldest child be stressed. Whatever happened to the younger siblings, I told her mother to kill her eldest child. So when the younger siblings aren't working, fighting, the eldest brother already knows that he needs to be tiaw with his mother later. Didn't say much, he just settled his younger siblings. That's it brother!
Thank God. The story is only one. Our children, we know each other. There's a part of being fierce, there's a part that needs to be There's a part that can laugh. This mother has one veto power, but many are afraid to use it because she is not in other s' language and is so afraid that her child will hate It doesn't mean anything! It's boring to entertain the sentiment of pity that is extreme. You used to be your mother who hit your face, do you hate your mother to big? Nothing. We're fierce because we just want to educate. Not fierce all the time. More than firm. When you see your child hardworking, listen to it, there's a day that will give you a surprise Chocolate or what? Taking a walk to the park. Time with family has to be there.
If you're too spoiled, you can make your child become responsible and the person who will defend your family, I think that the Malay soldiers won't even be training hard as hard as possible. It's better for them to just pray for all the new soldiers. What do you want, everything is given. Wake up late, swipe your hair and then kiss your forehead. Even eating time is delicious. Sleeping at night comfortably, installing air conditioner. Put on the wifi.
What was it?
Before you want to say this person, ask ourselves first. Our 7-year-old child eats, is he good at washing his own dishes? Do you know how to follow your time schedule? Can you brush your own school clothes?
If you're not good at anything, don't make me feel bad about the way other father's mother educate someone's child.
The hardest episode in educating children at this age. Believe me, this will all be a longing for the kids when they leave the house later. And this also makes them siblings get closer.
Patience, victory day is coming! Early sacrifice is the most important. Fight all the wrong feelings that always play in the soul. Only one thing you have to remember, as long as you don't fight with religion. Mom is never wrong! Angry, fierce lah. Do not worry. Continue to educate our ways. Don't forget the power of Veto!
Eh forgot, waimah is a special child. What the doctor said put number two. Accompanying kids like normal kids before but there's a limit. Don't teach him to be a special child since you were young. We know our children again, right? Because I always believe, crazy people when we clap their hands twice when they want to take our food, the third time they will understand and won't take it anymore. That's the crazy person. So, Don't let the child know he's special. Don't disturb her brain. Just entertaining the same thing.
Everyone is like that. If he feels like there are advantages, there is someone who defends more, he will start to get a chance. Can't believe it? You try to pamper your child crazy. Let go of the try in front of you, someone tease him less, you see how he has torn to tears later he will get your attention.
Anyway..
Only one thing I'm still failing. Failed to change their name call among siblings. No call Along, Angah, Bangde. I feel strongly, calling this name also has a certain advantage to put the difference between the younger brother and brother. There is a family aura.
Don't forget, Father's role in psychology is important to be crazy. Because with this mother, no matter how fierce it is, the child is brave to fight. Dad must be good at playing roles. No need to touch, you need to know when you want to have a high voice. When you want to call your child, sit down and talk about others.
Become a child idol.
Trust me, step child and biological child two things that are impossible. Because the power of VETO only exists in biological children. This step child has a risk that you need to face. What happened to them, people will say that you don't love them because it's not your biological child. Painful and sad that sentence is for me. Allah knows how I love them.
I wrote it,
Mr Amir Lake
P / s: In the past my wife was criticized by the Aspie group when my wife said she educated her aspie's child in the way she was a little firm. All sorts of people are teasing, he said that this aspie child will take revenge and kill him. Have to be teased every day. Poor. My wife doesn't agree with my actions early because she holds the doctor's order. Today, I'm asking my child aspie. Tomorrow if mom gets disturbed by someone else in front of you what will you do? What did he answer? I'll hit him enough! And I asked my wife, how about the person who teased her child? He said his child is under control but sometimes he's raging badly until he's about to breath. At the same time today my child aspie is good at cooking, can do all homework and love his siblings so much.
Mr. Amir Lake creditTranslated
8 years difference between siblings 在 Roundfinger Facebook 的最佳貼文
สำหรับคนที่ยังไม่ได้อ่านเมื่อเช้าครับ :)
น้อง-พี่-ที่รัก:
รักกันไม่ได้แปลว่าจะต้องชอบกันทั้งหมด
(เขียนถึงเนื้อหาบางส่วนในภาพยนตร์)
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ครั้งหนึ่งที่ป๊ากับพี่สาว (ซึ่งผมเรียกว่า แจ้) มีปากเสียงกัน ผมพยายามพูดอะไรบางอย่างให้สองฝ่ายคืนดี หายโกรธ ยกเหตุผลต่างๆ นานา สิ่งที่พี่สาวผมบอกกลับมาก็คือ "แกไม่ต้องยุ่งหรอกน่า เค้าอยู่กันมาเป็นสิบๆ ปีแล้ว เดี๋ยวมันจางลงก็กลับมาคุยกันดีๆ เหมือนเดิม แค่ยังไม่ใช่ตอนนี้" และคำที่ผมจำได้แม่น "ไม่ต้องทำให้เป็นเรื่องใหญ่ คนในบ้านทะเลาะกันมันเป็นเรื่องปกติ"
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เมื่อวานได้ดู "น้อง-พี่-ที่รัก" โดยมิได้คาดหวังว่าหนังจะเน้นความสัมพันธ์ของพี่ชาย-น้องสาวขนาดนี้ แต่ยิ่งนั่งดูไปมากเท่าไรก็ยิ่งคิดถึงตัวเองและพี่สาวมากขึ้นเท่านั้น
ถามว่าหนังสนุกไหม ตอบว่า-มาก มีมุกให้หัวเราะเกลื่อนกลาดไปทั้งเรื่อง มุกส่วนใหญ่น่ารัก โดน และไม่กริบ น่าจะเพราะการแสดงที่แสนจะพลิ้วของซันนี่และญาญ่า โดยเฉพาะซันนี่ที่เล่นแบบลืมไปเลยว่าตัวเองหล่อ จากสเต็ปของฮิวจ์ แกรนท์ เรื่องนี้เขาได้ข้ามไปสู่สเต็ปของจิม แคร์รีย์เป็นที่เรียบร้อย แต่นั่นแหละ-หนังเรื่องนี้มีมากกว่าความสนุก และอยากชวนไปดูกันเยอะๆ ครับ
ที่คิดถึงตัวเองกับพี่สาวเพราะหนังแสดงให้เห็นถึง "ความต่าง" ระหว่างสองคนนี้แบบสุดขั้ว พี่ชายก็ไม่เอาไหนได้แบบสุดๆ ไร้ระเบียบ เละเทะ เรื่อยเจื้อย เอาตัวรอดด้วยความกะล่อนไปวันๆ ตรงข้ามกับน้องสาวที่เป๊ะ เรียนเก่ง การงานดี กีฬาเลิศ ชีวิตสองคนนี้เหมือนฟ้ากับเหว
ผมกับพี่สาวไม่ได้ต่างกันขนาดนี้ แต่ก็มีส่วนคล้าย ผมค่อนไปทางไร้ระเบียบ รักอิสระ ขณะที่พี่สาวเรียนเก่ง มีระเบียบกับชีวิต ซึ่งผมคิดว่าพี่น้องส่วนใหญ่มักจะมี "ความต่าง" ในแบบของตน
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มีคำพูดว่า "เพื่อนคือญาติที่เราเลือกได้เอง" กลับกันคือ "พี่น้องคือเพื่อนที่เราไม่ได้เลือก และเลือกไม่ได้" เกิดมาก็มีไอ้คนคนนี้อยู่ร่วมบ้านกับเราแล้ว ไม่ว่าจะเป็นยังไงเราก็ต้องใช้ชีวิตกับมันไปอีกหลายปี เผลอๆ ก็อาจจะทั้งชีวิต
เปลี่ยนคนก็ไม่ได้ เลิกคบหากันก็ไม่ได้
เชื่อเหลือเกินว่าบ่อยครั้งที่พี่หรือน้องจะคิดในใจว่า "ถ้ากูเปลี่ยนพี่น้องเป็นคนนั้นคนนี้ได้คงดี" แต่ประเด็นคือ-มึงเปลี่ยนไม่ได้ไงล่ะ
"พี่-น้อง" จึงเป็นความสัมพันธ์ประหลาด ไม่ได้เลือกคบกัน แต่ต้องทนกันไป ไม่ได้ชอบกันแต่ต้องอยู่กันไปแบบทู่ซี้ แล้วไอ้ความอยู่ด้วยกันนานนี่เองแหละที่สร้าง "ความผูกพัน" ขึ้นมา กระทั่งกลายเป็นความสัมพันธ์รสปะแล้ม คือ "ไม่ได้ชอบมึง แต่รักมึงนะ"
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ในครอบครัวที่พี่หรือน้องคนใดคนหนึ่งมีบุคลิกที่ชัดเจน สุดโต่งไปทางใดทางหนึ่ง อีกคนจะกลายเป็นด้านตรงข้ามกับคนนั้นไปเลย
พี่-น้องคือกระจกกลับด้านของกันและกัน (ส่วนหนึ่งเป็นเช่นนั้น)
ความที่อยู่ด้วยกันมานาน พี่น้องเป็นความสัมพันธ์ที่ "เปรียบเทียบ" กันโดยไม่ตั้งใจ แม้ปฏิเสธแต่ก็อดไม่ได้หรอกที่จะเปรียบเทียบ บางทีการเปรียบเทียบนี้อยู่ลึกจนเราไม่รู้ตัว แต่มันมีอิทธิพลต่อ "ความเป็นเรา" มหาศาล
หากพี่เป็นเด็กเรียน ตอนแรกน้องจะพยายามฮึดสู้ แต่ถ้าทำได้ไม่ดี น้องจะเฉไปเอาดีทางอื่นทันที เช่น กลายเป็นคนบ้ากีฬา บ้าศิลปะ เล่นเกม หรืออะไรสักอย่างที่ไม่เกี่ยวกับการเรียนในใบเกรด
หากพี่เจ้าระเบียบมากๆ น้องจะดื้อด้าน แหกกฎ หากน้องขยัน พี่อาจทำตัวกลับกันคือนั่งๆ นอนๆ สบายๆ หากน้องไปทางบุคลิกดี สำรวมเรียบร้อย พี่อาจหนีไปทางตลกโปกฮา และอื่นๆ อีกมากมาย ลองมองพี่น้องรอบตัวก็จะเห็น "กระจกกลับด้าน" เช่นนี้จำนวนไม่น้อย
เราต่างมีอิทธิพลต่อกันและกัน
พูดอีกอย่างคือ "เราต่างสร้างตัวตนของอีกคนขึ้นมา"
ซึ่งบ่อยครั้งไม่ได้สร้างให้อีกคนเหมือนเรา แต่กลับสร้างให้อีกคนแตกต่างจากเรา เพราะเขาต้องการ "หนี" ไปอีกทาง ไม่ให้ซ้ำทางพี่ ไม่ให้ทับทางน้อง
พี่-น้องจึงเป็นโจทย์แรกๆ ของชีวิตที่เราต้องเจอ โจทย์ที่ว่าเราจะ "เอาดี" แบบไหนบนเส้นทางตัวเอง หากสู้กับอีกคนหนึ่งบนทางเส้นนั้นไม่ได้ ยังเหลือทางไหนให้ไปอีก แล้วการหาทางออกเช่นนี้ซ้ำแล้วซ้ำเล่านี่เองที่หล่อหลอม "ตัวตน" ของเราขึ้นมาให้เป็นแบบที่เราเป็นตอนโตขึ้น
และการกลับด้านเช่นนี้เองที่ค่อยๆ สร้างความเป็น "คู่ตรงข้าม" ขึ้นมาในตัวเราสองคน ค่อยๆ ถ่างเราห่างจากกัน ค่อยๆ ทำให้เรามีโลกคนละใบ และเป็นไปได้ว่า--ค่อยๆ ทำให้เราเข้าใจกันและกันน้อยลงเรื่อยๆ
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มองไปที่พี่ เราจึงเห็นว่าเขาอยู่บนโลกอีกใบหนึ่ง เราเป็นมนุษย์คนละดาวที่ถูกเสก (หรือสาบ) ให้มาอยู่ในบ้านหลังเดียวกัน
โจทย์ที่สองที่คนมีพี่น้องค่อยๆ เรียนรู้ตั้งแต่ตอนเป็นวัยรุ่นไปจนถึงเป็นผู้ใหญ่ก็คือ แล้วเราจะอยู่ร่วมกับ "มนุษย์คนละดาว" อย่างไรให้มีความสุข การจะได้มาซึ่งคำตอบของโจทย์นี้ บางคนใช้เวลาทั้งชีวิต
ราวกับว่าเรามีพี่มีน้องที่ต่างกันก็เพื่อให้เราได้เรียนรู้ที่จะอยู่ร่วมกับคนที่แตกต่าง (มากน้อยก็ว่ากันไป) หนีไปไหนไม่ได้ ตัวอาจแยกจากกันบางเวลา แต่หัวใจมันผูกกันไปแล้ว
ไม่ชอบมัน แต่รักมัน
นี่คือแบบฝึกหัดความสัมพันธ์ในแบบที่ "คู่รัก" มอบให้ไม่ได้ เพราะความสัมพันธ์แบบคู่รักนั้นพร้อมจะ "บอกเลิก" กันได้เมื่อถึงจุดที่ทนไม่ไหว แต่พี่น้องจะไม่ยอมให้ความสัมพันธ์ไปถึงจุดนั้น เพราะเราต่างรู้กันว่าเราไม่มีวันเลิกเป็นพี่เป็นน้องกัน หรือหากต้องเลิกเป็นจริงๆ มันคงเป็นเรื่องที่น่าเศร้าที่สุดเรื่องหนึ่งในชีวิต เป็นแผลเป็นที่เหลือบไปเห็นทีไรก็เจ็บแปลบขึ้นมาทุกครั้ง
เราจึงประคับประคอง "ความต่าง" ด้วยทุกวิถีทางที่คิดออก
...
6
เช่นนี้แล้ว การเป็นพี่น้องจึงไม่ใช่ความสนุกสวยงามแบบภาพฝัน ซึ่งหนังเรื่องนี้ก็ดีเหลือเกินที่ไม่ตอกย้ำภาพฝันนั้น หากมันคือการ "ทำงาน" แบบหนึ่ง เป็นการทำงานทางด้านจิตใจที่จะยอมรับและยอมรักคนที่แตกต่างจากเราได้ด้วยหัวใจ มิใช่ด้วยการตัดสินพิพากษาเขาด้วยมาตรฐานส่วนตัว
เราจะรักพี่หรือน้องเราได้ก็ต่อเมื่อเราไป "ยืนในรองเท้าของเขา" สวมรองเท้าเขา มองชีวิตจากมุมของเขา เงื่อนไขของเขา ประสบการณ์ที่หล่อหลอมมาของเขา แล้วจึงจะเข้าใจว่าทำไมเขาเป็นแบบนั้น ทำไมเขาคิดเช่นนั้น แล้วเราอาจต้องประหลาดใจด้วยซ้ำว่า ที่เขาเป็นแบบนั้น ส่วนหนึ่งก็เพราะเราเป็นแบบนี้
ความเข้าใจจะเกิดขึ้นเมื่อหมั่นสลับรองเท้ากันใส่ หมั่นแลกจุดยืนของกันและกัน แล้วเราจะไม่ตัดสินการกระทำของพี่หรือน้องด้วยจุดยืนของเราฝ่ายเดียว (เหมือนที่ "พี่ชัช" ในเรื่องตัดสินการช่วยเหลือของน้องสาวด้วยมุมมองของตัวเองในวันแต่งงาน)
พี่น้องเปิดโอกาสให้เรา "แลกรองเท้า" กันบ่อยกว่าความสัมพันธ์แบบอื่น ที่พร้อมจะให้อภัยน้อยกว่า
หลายครั้งผมคิดว่า ของขวัญมีค่าที่สุดที่พี่น้องจะมอบให้แก่กันไม่ใช่ข้าวของเลอเลิศอันใดเลย หากคือการให้อภัยกันด้วยหัวใจที่ไม่ติดค้าง อ้าแขนออกแล้วบอกว่า "ฉันโอเคกับความเป็นแก" แม้ในใจเราอาจอยากให้เขาเปลี่ยนแปลงไปในทางที่เราคิดว่าน่าจะดีกว่าที่เป็นอยู่ แต่นั่นอาจเป็นเพียงการตัดสินจากมาตรฐานส่วนตัวก็เป็นได้ การโอบกอดในสิ่งที่เขาเป็นนั้นอาจมีค่ามากกว่าการพยายามหยิบยื่นสิ่งที่ (เราคิดว่า) ดีให้แก่เขาด้วยซ้ำไป
...
7
ผมชอบที่หนังไม่ได้จบที่การเปลี่ยนแปลง "ตัวตน" ของพี่หรือน้อง ทั้งสองยังเป็นแบบที่ตัวเองเป็น คนเราไม่ได้เปลี่ยนกันง่ายๆ
พี่น้องในเรื่องไม่ได้เปลี่ยน "ตัวตน" หากเข้าใจมากขึ้นว่าเราควรเป็นพี่น้องกันด้วยความรู้สึกแบบไหน
เปลี่ยนจากการแบกรับน้ำหนักของการเปรียบเทียบ จับจ้องแต่ความต่าง ก่นด่าในสิ่งที่อีกฝ่ายเป็น ให้กลายเป็นความปรารถนาดีต่อกัน
ใช่, ปรารถนาดีต่อกัน--เราอาจมีกันและกันเพื่อเรียนรู้สิ่งนี้
เราสามารถปรารถนาดีต่อกันได้โดยไม่ต้องถูกใจอีกฝ่ายไปเสียทุกเรื่อง และถ้าเราปรารถนาดีต่อเขา อยากเห็นเขามีความสุข เราอาจต้องยอมบางอย่าง เราอาจไม่จำเป็นต้องพยายามเปลี่ยนแปลงเขา เราเพียงดำเนินชีวิตข้างกันด้วยหัวใจที่เปี่ยมความคาดหวังให้อีกคนหนึ่งมีความสุขที่สุด
นี่คือบทเรียนเรื่อง "ความปรารถนาดีอย่างถูกวิธี" ที่พี่น้องสอนเรา
สิ่งที่พี่ชัชพูดกับหลาน (ลูกชายของน้องสาว) ในตอนท้ายเรื่องว่า "เป็นพี่แล้วนะ รักน้องให้มากๆ นะ" นั้นมีความหมายลึกซึ้งเมื่อตัวเขาเองได้ผ่านรอยปริแยกแห่งความสัมพันธ์ของพี่น้องมาแล้ว
"รักน้อง" นั้นแน่นอนอยู่แล้ว แต่ "รักยังไง" ต่างหากที่เราต้องใช้เวลาเนิ่นนานกว่าจะเรียนรู้
...
8
หลังจากนั้นไม่กี่วัน พี่สาวก็ซื้อกับข้าวอร่อยๆ มาฝากป๊า แล้วทั้งครอบครัวก็นั่งล้อมวงกินข้าวพูดคุยกันตามปกติ
บ้านเรากลับมาเป็นปกติอีกครั้ง แต่จะว่าไปก็น่าถามถึงความหมายของคำว่า "ปกติ" มันอาจเป็นแบบที่พี่สาวหรือแจ้ของผมบอกไว้ก็เป็นได้ว่า การทะเลาะกันก็เป็นเรื่องปกติอย่างหนึ่งของคนในบ้าน
เราอาจทะเลาะกันเพื่อเรียนรู้วิธีที่จะอยู่ด้วยกัน ให้เราค่อยๆ สอบผ่านวิชา "ความปรารถนาดีอย่างถูกวิธี" ไปทีละขั้น เหมือนกันกับความสัมพันธ์ระหว่างผมกับพี่สาว ทุกวันนี้เราก็ยังเป็นมนุษย์คนละดาวซึ่งถูกเสก/สาบให้มาอยู่ในบ้านหลังเดียวกัน ไม่ได้ลงรอยไปเสียทั้งหมด แต่ยืนยันได้ว่าเรารักกันเสมอ
นี่คือสิ่งที่พี่สาวคนละดาวสอนผมโดยที่เธอไม่ได้พูด แต่ความสัมพันธ์บนความต่างอันยาวนานบอกใบ้ความลับของชีวิตบางอย่างกับผมว่า "การที่เราจะรักใครสักคน เราไม่จำเป็นต้องชอบทั้งหมดที่เขาเป็น"
ซึ่งความลับนี้อาจไม่ได้ใช้ได้เฉพาะกับ "พี่-น้อง" เท่านั้น
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9
ผมกับพี่เคยมีช่วงเวลาที่เราห่างจากกันและหยุดพูดคุยกันไป แต่แล้ววันหนึ่งเราก็กลับมาคุยกันอีกครั้ง
ความสัมพันธ์ของพี่น้องบางคู่ไม่หวานหอมหรอกครับ ใครที่มีความสัมพันธ์ราบเรียบกับพี่น้องก็นับว่าโชคดี แต่ผมเองก็คิดว่าตัวเองโชคดีอีกแบบหนึ่ง
ผมได้รู้จักความรักที่มีรสขม และผมก็เชื่อว่าพี่สาวของผมก็ได้ลิ้มรสนั้นจากความรักระหว่างเราเช่นกัน
ถ้าต่างกันขนาดนี้แล้วเรายังรักกันได้ ถึงวันหนึ่งบทเรียนนี้น่าจะแผ่ขยายพื้นที่หัวใจให้เรารักคนที่แตกต่างที่ต้องพบเจอในชีวิตได้อีกมากมายนัก
นี่อาจเป็นเหตุผลที่เราถูกเสกให้อยู่ในบ้านหลังเดียวกันมาตั้งแต่เด็ก
ผมรู้ดีว่าพี่รักผม และผมก็รักพี่ เราไม่ได้ชอบทั้งหมดที่อีกคนเป็น แต่เราค่อยๆ เรียนรู้ที่จะยอมรับในสิ่งที่เราไม่ชอบนั้น
ผมอยากชวนพี่ไปดูหนังเรื่องนี้ แต่ก็รู้ดีว่ามันคงจะดูแปลกๆ ยังไงก็เถอะ ผมเชื่อว่าถ้าพี่ได้ดูเค้าจะคิดถึงผม ฉากที่พี่น้องกอดกันตอนท้ายเรื่องคงแทนความรู้สึกระหว่างเราได้ดี
ระยะห่างระหว่างเรานั้นห่างกันมาก ขณะเดียวกันก็ใกล้ชิดกันมาก
จะมีความสัมพันธ์แบบไหนสอนเราได้เช่นนี้อีก
อย่าเชื่อว่าความรักจะมีแต่รสหวาน และอย่าเชื่อว่าความรักที่ไม่หวานนั้นไม่สวยงาม
มันสวยงามอีกแบบหนึ่ง
ก็เหมือนพี่หรือน้องของเรานั่นแหละ-เขาสวยงามในแบบเขา
และสิ่งที่เราควรทำที่สุดคือโอบกอดความสวยงามนั้น
#น้องพี่ที่รัก
#BrotherOfTheYear
Sister-Brother-Baby:
Love each other doesn't mean we have to like each other all.
(write to some content in the film)
---
1
One time dad and sister (which I call jae) got into an argument. I tried to say something to two sides. Good night. I'm angry. All the reason. What my sister said back is " you don't have to mess with me. They live together. For decades, it will fade. We will come back to talk well as usual. Just not now " and the words I remember " no need to make a big deal. People in the house fight is normal "
...
2
Yesterday, I watched "Brother-Brother-darling" without expecting the movie to focus on brother-sister relationship like this. But the more I sit and watch, the more I think about myself and my sister.
If you ask if the movie is fun. I say - there are jokes to laugh at. Most of them are cute and not grip. It should be because of sunny and yaya, especially sunny playing forgetful. Let's say he's handsome from this hugh grant step. He has already crossed to Jim Carrie's steps, but that's it - this movie is more than fun and I want to invite you to watch a lot.
I miss myself and my sister because the movie shows the difference " between these two extreme. My brother can't want to go anywhere. No mess. Keep going to survive with the day. The perfect sister. Good at studying, good job. Great Sports. These two lives are like sky and abyss.
Me and my sister are not this different, but there is a similar part of me. I am quite unorganized, free love while my sister is good at studying, organized with life, which I think most brothers always have "different" in their own way
...
3
There is a word that "friends are relatives that we can choose they are" brothers are friends that we didn't choose and can't choose I was born, there is this person in our house with us. No matter what, we have to live with it. Many more years, maybe my whole life.
I can't change people. I can't stop being in relationship.
I believe that I often think in my heart, "if I could change this person, it would be good" but the point is - you can't change.
" Brother-sister " is a strange relationship. We don't choose to be together, but we have to endure each other. We don't like each other, but we have to live together for a long time that created " Bond " until it becomes a relationship. And it's " I don't like you but I love you
...
4
In a family where one brother or brother has a super clear personality. The other will become the opposite side of that person.
Brother-sister is a mirror back to each other's side (part of them)
Being together for a long time. Brothers is a relationship that " Compare " unintentionally. Even in denial, we can't help but compare. Sometimes this comparison is so deep that we don't realize, but it influences " US "
If you were a student, at first, you would try to fight. But if you didn't do well, you would go to get good things right away, such as becoming crazy, Sports, crazy, art, game or something that is not about studying in grade card.
If your brother is very organized, you will be stubborn and break the rules. If you are diligent, you may act back. Sit and sleep comfortably. If you go to a good personality, you may run away from the funny way. Funny way, and more. Let's see brothers around. I will see a few "mirrors" like this.
We all influence each other.
Another saying is " we all create one another's identity
I often don't create another person like us, but it makes another person different from us because he wants to "run away" the other way, not to repeat the way. I won't let you over the way.
Brother-sister is the first problem of our life that we have to find. What kind of "we will" do on our path. If we can't fight with another person on the road, there is still any way to go. Finding a solution like this over and over again. The handsome one who we are " to be the way we were when we were growing up.
And this kind of turning back that slowly creates the "opposite couple" in the two of us slowly spread us apart. Slowly makes us a different world and it's possible that -- slowly makes us understand each other less.
...
5
Look at my brother, I see that he is on another planet. We are human beings who are made (or) to be in the same house.
The second problem that people have siblings slowly learn from teenagers to mature. How can we live with "different stars" to be happy to get the answer to this problem. Some people spend their whole life.
As if we have different brothers, so that we can learn to live with different people (no matter how much we say). We can't go anywhere. We may be separated for some time, but our hearts are tied.
Don't like it but love it
This is the kind of relationship training that " couples " can't give because couples are ready to " break up " when it comes to the point where they can't stand it, but brothers won't let the relationship reach that point because we both know that we will never stop being brother. Sister or if you have to stop being, it would be the saddest thing in life. It's a scar that I see it, it hurts every time.
So we support "the difference" in every way we can figure out.
...
6
Like this, being a sibling is not a fun, beautiful dream. This movie is so good not to remind that dream. If it is to "work" a mental work to accept and love someone who is different from us with the heart. Not by judgement, judge him by personal standards.
We can only love my brother or brother when we go to "Stand in his shoes" wearing shoes. He looks at life from his angle. His condition. His handsome experience, then you will understand why he is like that. Why he thinks so. We may even be surprised that he is because we are.
Understanding will happen when switching shoes to exchange each other's stand and we will not judge the actions of brother or brother by one side. (like "brother chor cuddle hours" in judging sister's help with their own perspective in Wedding day)
Brothers open the opportunity for us to "exchange shoes" more often than other relationships that are less ready to forgive.
Many times, I think that the most valuable gift that brothers will give to each other, not a great thing. If it is to forgive each other with a heart that doesn't owe each other with open arms and say "I'm okay with you" even in our hearts, we may want him to change. In a way we think it's better than we are, but that may be just judging by personal standards. Embracing who he is is more valuable than trying to give him what (we think) is good.
...
7
I like that the movie doesn't end at changing "who" of both of you or sisters. It's still the way they are. People don't change easily.
Brothers and sisters don't change "who they are" if you understand what kind of feelings we should be brothers.
Change from carrying the weight of comparison, but the difference, cursing what the other is to be best wishes for each other.
Yes, wish for each other -- we may have each other to learn this
We can wish to be good to each other without liking the other. and if we wish to be good for him happy, we may have to give up something. We may not have to try to change him. We just live beside each other with a heart. Expectation for one another to be the happiest
This is the lesson about "best wishes" that brothers teach us.
What brother chor cuddle said to the grandchild (sister's son) at the end, "I am a brother now. I love you very much" is a deep meaning when he has passed the cremation of brothers relationship.
" love you " is for sure, but " how to love " is what we take a long time to learn.
...
8
After a few days, my sister bought some delicious rice for dad. Then the whole family sat around the band, eating and talking as usual.
Our house is back to normal again, but it's nice to ask about the meaning of " normal it may be the way my sister or jae said. Fighting is normal for people in the house.
We may fight to learn how to be together. Let us gradually pass the "best wishes" class. Same step by step with the relationship between me and my sister. Nowadays we are still human beings who are made / scalmed / scalmed in the same house. Not all the marks, but I can confirm that we always love each other.
This is what a different star sister taught me without saying, but a long relationship. Hints some secrets of life to me, "to love someone, we don't have to like all that they are"
This secret may not only be used with "Brother-sister"
...
9
My brother and I used to have a time when we were apart and stopped talking to each other. But then one day we came back to talk again.
Some brothers relationship is not sweet and fragrant. Anyone who has a smooth relationship with brothers is lucky. But I think I am lucky.
I have known bitter love, and I believe my sister also tasted it from our love.
If it's this different, we can still love each other until one day. This lesson should spread our heart space to love many different people who have to meet in life.
Maybe this is why we were conjured in the same house since we were young.
I know that you love me, and I love you. I don't like all that the other person is, but we slowly learn to accept what we don't like.
I want to invite you to watch this movie, but I know that it will look strange. I believe that if you watch it, they will miss me. The scene where brothers hug each other at the end, the story will replace our feelings.
The distance between us is so far apart, meanwhile, very close.
What kind of relationship can teach us like this?
Don't believe that love is only sweet and don't believe that love is not sweet.
It's beautiful in another way.
Just like our brother or brother - he is beautiful in his way.
And all we should do is embrace that beauty
#น้องพี่ที่รัก
#BrotherOfTheYearTranslated
8 years difference between siblings 在 Roundfinger Facebook 的最佳解答
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1...
Continue ReadingSister-Brother-Baby:
Love each other doesn't mean we have to like each other all.
(write to some content in the film)
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1
One time dad and sister (which I call jae) got into an argument. I tried to say something to two sides. Good night. I'm angry. All the reason. What my sister said back is " you don't have to mess with me. They live together. For decades, it will fade. We will come back to talk well as usual. Just not now " and the words I remember " no need to make a big deal. People in the house fight is normal "
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2
Yesterday, I watched "Brother-Brother-darling" without expecting the movie to focus on brother-sister relationship like this. But the more I sit and watch, the more I think about myself and my sister.
If you ask if the movie is fun. I say - there are jokes to laugh at. Most of them are cute and not grip. It should be because of sunny and yaya, especially sunny playing forgetful. Let's say he's handsome from this hugh grant step. He has already crossed to Jim Carrie's steps, but that's it - this movie is more than fun and I want to invite you to watch a lot.
I miss myself and my sister because the movie shows the difference " between these two extreme. My brother can't want to go anywhere. No mess. Keep going to survive with the day. The perfect sister. Good at studying, good job. Great Sports. These two lives are like sky and abyss.
Me and my sister are not this different, but there is a similar part of me. I am quite unorganized, free love while my sister is good at studying, organized with life, which I think most brothers always have "different" in their own way
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3
There is a word that "friends are relatives that we can choose they are" brothers are friends that we didn't choose and can't choose I was born, there is this person in our house with us. No matter what, we have to live with it. Many more years, maybe my whole life.
I can't change people. I can't stop being in relationship.
I believe that I often think in my heart, "if I could change this person, it would be good" but the point is - you can't change.
" Brother-sister " is a strange relationship. We don't choose to be together, but we have to endure each other. We don't like each other, but we have to live together for a long time that created " Bond " until it becomes a relationship. And it's " I don't like you but I love you
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4
In a family where one brother or brother has a super clear personality. The other will become the opposite side of that person.
Brother-sister is a mirror back to each other's side (part of them)
Being together for a long time. Brothers is a relationship that " Compare " unintentionally. Even in denial, we can't help but compare. Sometimes this comparison is so deep that we don't realize, but it influences " US "
If you were a student, at first, you would try to fight. But if you didn't do well, you would go to get good things right away, such as becoming crazy, Sports, crazy, art, game or something that is not about studying in grade card.
If your brother is very organized, you will be stubborn and break the rules. If you are diligent, you may act back. Sit and sleep comfortably. If you go to a good personality, you may run away from the funny way. Funny way, and more. Let's see brothers around. I will see a few "mirrors" like this.
We all influence each other.
Another saying is " we all create one another's identity
I often don't create another person like us, but it makes another person different from us because he wants to "run away" the other way, not to repeat the way. I won't let you over the way.
Brother-sister is the first problem of our life that we have to find. What kind of "we will" do on our path. If we can't fight with another person on the road, there is still any way to go. Finding a solution like this over and over again. The handsome one who we are " to be the way we were when we were growing up.
And this kind of turning back that slowly creates the "opposite couple" in the two of us slowly spread us apart. Slowly makes us a different world and it's possible that -- slowly makes us understand each other less.
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5
Look at my brother, I see that he is on another planet. We are human beings who are made (or) to be in the same house.
The second problem that people have siblings slowly learn from teenagers to mature. How can we live with "different stars" to be happy to get the answer to this problem. Some people spend their whole life.
As if we have different brothers, so that we can learn to live with different people (no matter how much we say). We can't go anywhere. We may be separated for some time, but our hearts are tied.
Don't like it but love it
This is the kind of relationship training that " couples " can't give because couples are ready to " break up " when it comes to the point where they can't stand it, but brothers won't let the relationship reach that point because we both know that we will never stop being brother. Sister or if you have to stop being, it would be the saddest thing in life. It's a scar that I see it, it hurts every time.
So we support "the difference" in every way we can figure out.
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6
Like this, being a sibling is not a fun, beautiful dream. This movie is so good not to remind that dream. If it is to "work" a mental work to accept and love someone who is different from us with the heart. Not by judgement, judge him by personal standards.
We can only love my brother or brother when we go to "Stand in his shoes" wearing shoes. He looks at life from his angle. His condition. His handsome experience, then you will understand why he is like that. Why he thinks so. We may even be surprised that he is because we are.
Understanding will happen when switching shoes to exchange each other's stand and we will not judge the actions of brother or brother by one side. (like "brother chor cuddle hours" in judging sister's help with their own perspective in Wedding day)
Brothers open the opportunity for us to "exchange shoes" more often than other relationships that are less ready to forgive.
Many times, I think that the most valuable gift that brothers will give to each other, not a great thing. If it is to forgive each other with a heart that doesn't owe each other with open arms and say "I'm okay with you" even in our hearts, we may want him to change. In a way we think it's better than we are, but that may be just judging by personal standards. Embracing who he is is more valuable than trying to give him what (we think) is good.
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7
I like that the movie doesn't end at changing "who" of both of you or sisters. It's still the way they are. People don't change easily.
Brothers and sisters don't change "who they are" if you understand what kind of feelings we should be brothers.
Change from carrying the weight of comparison, but the difference, cursing what the other is to be best wishes for each other.
Yes, wish for each other -- we may have each other to learn this
We can wish to be good to each other without liking the other. and if we wish to be good for him happy, we may have to give up something. We may not have to try to change him. We just live beside each other with a heart. Expectation for one another to be the happiest
This is the lesson about "best wishes" that brothers teach us.
What brother chor cuddle said to the grandchild (sister's son) at the end, "I am a brother now. I love you very much" is a deep meaning when he has passed the cremation of brothers relationship.
" love you " is for sure, but " how to love " is what we take a long time to learn.
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8
After a few days, my sister bought some delicious rice for dad. Then the whole family sat around the band, eating and talking as usual.
Our house is back to normal again, but it's nice to ask about the meaning of " normal it may be the way my sister or jae said. Fighting is normal for people in the house.
We may fight to learn how to be together. Let us gradually pass the "best wishes" class. Same step by step with the relationship between me and my sister. Nowadays we are still human beings who are made / scalmed / scalmed in the same house. Not all the marks, but I can confirm that we always love each other.
This is what a different star sister taught me without saying, but a long relationship. Hints some secrets of life to me, "to love someone, we don't have to like all that they are"
This secret may not only be used with "Brother-sister"
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9
My brother and I used to have a time when we were apart and stopped talking to each other. But then one day we came back to talk again.
Some brothers relationship is not sweet and fragrant. Anyone who has a smooth relationship with brothers is lucky. But I think I am lucky.
I have known bitter love, and I believe my sister also tasted it from our love.
If it's this different, we can still love each other until one day. This lesson should spread our heart space to love many different people who have to meet in life.
Maybe this is why we were conjured in the same house since we were young.
I know that you love me, and I love you. I don't like all that the other person is, but we slowly learn to accept what we don't like.
I want to invite you to watch this movie, but I know that it will look strange. I believe that if you watch it, they will miss me. The scene where brothers hug each other at the end, the story will replace our feelings.
The distance between us is so far apart, meanwhile, very close.
What kind of relationship can teach us like this?
Don't believe that love is only sweet and don't believe that love is not sweet.
It's beautiful in another way.
Just like our brother or brother - he is beautiful in his way.
And all we should do is embrace that beauty
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#BrotherOfTheYearTranslated