愛情要長久?簽下去就對了!
大家早,今天來讀 #紐約時報
原來契約對穩定感情有幫助?
來一起學怎麼與另一半訂定愛情契約吧❤️
😕In the past, expecting a relationship to work simply because the people involved loved each other had failed me. I spent my 20s with a man who knew exactly what he wanted and how he wanted to be. All I had wanted was for him to love me. When I met Mark, he fit into my life so easily it surprised me. My friends liked him. My dog, Roscoe, yelped with happiness at the sight of him. But when we started talking about living together, I was wary.
過去,我期待一段親密關係僅僅因為彼此相愛就能維持,這種方式在我身上失敗了。20多歲的時候,我一直和一個確切知道自己要什麼、也知道自己想成為什麼人的男人在一起。而我想要的,只是讓他愛我。遇到馬克後,他輕鬆地融入了我的生活,這讓我非常吃驚。我的朋友們都喜歡他。我養的狗羅斯科一看到他就高興地叫起來。但是當我們開始討論同居時,我有些謹慎。
🤔I worried that the minutiae of domesticity would change us into petty creatures who bickered over laundry. More than that, I worried I might lose myself again, to a man and a relationship, overtaken by those old ideas about how love conquers all.
我擔心家庭生活的細枝末節會把我們變成小氣的人,會為洗衣服這種事吵嘴。更重要的是,我擔心自己可能會再次在一個男人面前、在一段親密關係當中迷失自己,被愛情戰勝一切的舊觀念吞噬。
👀Many of us don’t notice the ways romantic love acts as an organizing force in our lives, but it is powerful. Some use the term “relationship escalator” to describe the way we tend to follow familiar scripts as we proceed in a relationship, from casual dating to cohabitation to marriage and family. These scripts that tell us what love should look like are so ubiquitous they sometimes seem invisible.
我們當中有許多人注意不到浪漫愛情在生活中扮演著一種規劃組織的力量,但它其實很強大。有些人用「親密關係自動扶梯」這個詞來形容親密關係的發展,我們傾向於依照熟悉的劇本,從輕鬆的約會到同居,到邁入婚姻和組成家庭。這些劇本告訴我們愛情應該是什麼樣,它們如此普遍,以至於我們有時候注意不到它們。
想知道如何擬定愛情契約嗎?
加入每日國際選讀,看完整文章學愛情保鮮技巧!
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