關於 is there any update from your side ，我們在網路上蒐集到這些相關的討論、資訊與評價

#Updates #Robynnblogs

The world really has evolved several stages since 2020, and also since the beginning of my career- and that’s the beauty of it all. Nothings permanent, everything changes and newer, more exciting things keep coming into the mix.

Tomorrow my baby will turn 6 months. What a massive milestone, for her and for myself. As I am learning everyday to be a better mother, I am also learning to become a stronger me. I have been wanting to update fans and friends on how I am doing - and yet every time I try, I just feel like “oh gosh. Where do I even start?” And before that thought process is over, I would be busy either feeding my baby, changing a diaper, soothing her, or putting her to sleep.

The first few months of my baby’s life felt like it flew by so quickly yet at the same time pre-baby feels like a lifetime ago - everything in my world has shifted. My whole focus was her - I was breastfeeding, (which, by the way, is HEAPS harder than giving birth), making sure she’s eating well, sleeping well, and pooping well. And, understandably, paranoid about any kind of germs in the house. There was no difference between day and night, it’s just wake time and sleep time. It made no difference for me what day of the week it was, what weather it was, what’s happening with my industry, or with the world other than the daily Covid news, because I just needed to stay home make sure that my little newborn is far far far away from covid. I barely saw friends, and hadn’t eaten in a restaurant for north of half a year. As I took care of her, I barely had time to wash my own face, go to the bathroom, or sleep for a long stretch of time. I also didn’t have enough breastmilk, so I would sit there and try to pump the life out of me, just so I could provide half of a meal for my baby. I tried everything - but I do know that low supply isn’t uncommon. So- as glamorous as mom life can appear to be on social media, don’t be fooled. It’s humbling, but it’s also life-altering and the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done.

Emotionally, I’ve been so over the moon and happy. I enjoy spending time with my newborn baby, she makes me giggle and smile - even though I wish my mother was here to share old baby stories of me, and experience all of this together. But having a daughter really makes you feel more connected to your mother on a completely different level - I just know she’s happy and proud of me from up above. I’ve taught her how to semi-feed herself, how to fall asleep by herself, teaching her still how to roll, sit, and semi-stand (crazy!!), and I’ve played her tunes on my guitar like she’s the only fan in my fan club.

I also consider myself blessed that I never had issues with postpartum depression, despite suffering from mommy’s wrist. I had an amazing relationship with my 陪月/月嫂 who helped me immensely more than words can say. I have not been able to see my side of the family for over a year, but I’m blessed to have amazing in-laws and fellow mommy friends to share experiences with.

Nothing has been easy, but I am the most grateful for my husband - he was always by my side when I needed him. We change diapers together, we bathe our daughter, we sing to her together, and read bedtime stories to her together. I can safely say, that I’m MUCH happier than when I was towards the end of my music label contract. There have been some dark years there.

Hitting 6 months is a big deal for me. I can safely pat myself on my back and reminisce on THE single most biggest achievement of my life, my daughter. Obviously, 6 months is not long in the grand scheme of things, ie. her entire life ahead, but it is a big milestone for me mentally, and finally I feel it’s time to really focus on my own personally healing. I completely lost myself in taking care of her, and yet I felt the most alive and the most needed - and I found a new me in the process. It’s a beautiful kind of chaos and I embraced all of it. But yes, now it’s time for me again. finally.

Hitting this 6 month mark, I have decided to now wean from breastfeeding, take care of my body better, drink some wine, and write more songs for real. (If my daughter allows, lol). I am choosing to give myself some more me-time, read a book, get my nails done, and eventually get a haircut too. And.. start to think about dieting and training. Moms don’t get enough credit for deciding consciously to not slim down yet because they gotta breastfeed. But- with that said, all moms have their own struggles that no one knows of, so never judge!

A part of the stress that comes with social media sometimes, is actually comments on moms’ sizes, even praises of “wow you slimmed down fast!” As though that’s the most important thing of all. The toxic culture pains me and I just know it’s not the point. For me, it really was a conscious decision, just to be a mother first, above all else, at least for these first six months of her little life. And looking at her, strong, happy and healthy, I am truly so so proud of her for her growth and development.

And finally.. I’m finally ready to think about myself again as a musician. I know I’m lucky to be able to have a choice of being with her for 6 months; I count my blessings everyday. But as songwriting wheels become rustier, and as the industry evolves, I’m quite frankly not sure yet what a singer-songwriter mom looks like. I struggle to name artists in the Chinese speaking world that I could reference from - but I promise I’ll continue to bring music to those ears that still choose to listen.

I still hope that one day - little Naomi can see mama on stage. Looking down at her as she sleeps, I always imagine what she would be like as she grows up - and I hope that one day she will be able to pursue what she loves to do and focus on the truly meaningful things in life.

Thank you for reading through this thinking-out-loud random catch-up session blog thing. I’m just so glad I survived 6 months of motherhood. This stuff ain’t easy! Sending love and thank you all for the support, as always. More updates later!

xRobynn

#updates #robynnblogs

【感情にまかせてクレームを入れて、自分の取り分を減らす人】

毎度恒例の近況報告から始めさせていただきますが、現在、クラウドファンディング「SILKHT」内で募集をかけている『西野亮廣オンライン講演会　〜マーケティング講座【上級編】〜』の受講者が３３００名を突破しました。

(※講演会の参加はコチラ↓)
https://silkhat.yoshimoto.co.jp/projects/2158

　
特筆すべきは「受講の応募の伸びが止まっていない」という点で、もしかすると、最終的に５０００名ぐらいになるかもしれません。
コロナ真っ只中の時に、１万人規模のオンライン講演会を二回開催しましたが、そこに続く規模の講演会となりそうです。

僕自身の事例を元に、モノの届け方、人の巻き込み方についてのお話をしたいと思います。
興味がある方は『SILKHAT』のプロジェクトページから、飛んでみてください。

→https://silkhat.yoshimoto.co.jp/projects/2158



あと、先日おこなった、西野がプペルのガチ仮装をする「コスプレ撮影会」の評判がすこぶる良かったので、１００組限定で、東京、大阪で再び開催することが決まりました。

参加はコチラ→https://silkhat.yoshimoto.co.jp/projects/2206


何卒、宜しくお願い致します。

というわけで本題に入りたいのですが、今日は、「感情にまかせてクレームを入れて、自分の取り分を減らす人」というテーマでお話ししたいと思います。


具体例を交えてお話した方が伝わると思うので、その角度からお話したいのですが、僕も完全には追えていないので、正確な情報は公式からの発表を待っていただきたいのですが、毎年、年末に５日間連続で『天才万博』という音楽フェスをおこなっているんですね。

僕は、出演者ではなくて、お客さんとして、フェスの立ち上げ当初から皆勤賞です。

毎年『天才万博』用のスケジュールは絶対に空けておいて、とにかく、この日の為に１年間頑張っています。
勿論、今年も。



とにかく楽しい空間で、このフェスが面白いのは、「出演者で集客をしていない」という点。

毎年、ほとんどのお客さんが、誰が出演するかも知らずに会場に足を運んでいる。
つまり、「フェス自体」に、もっと具体的に言うと、あの空間にファンが付いているわけです。

唯一わかっているのは「毎年、西野が客席で酔っ払っている」ということぐらいで、あとは誰が出るかも分からない音楽フェスのチケットは全日程完売。とにかく、僕が知る限り、一番楽しい音楽フェスです。音楽フェスというか、忘年会ですね。

「天才万博２０１９」で画像検索していただけると、会場の雰囲気が伝わると思います。



そんな『天才万博』ですが、この度のコロナで「今年の開催はどうなんだろう？」という心配が、僕たちファンの間でずっとあったんですね。

運営サイトの人たちが開催したくてしたくてたまらないのは百も承知だし、とはいえ、お客さんの安全を守ることも当然考えなきゃいけないので、僕としては、どういう判断がくだろうが、受け止める気でいたんですね。
誰も悪くないので。



で、一昨日かな、『天才万博』の主催者さんが、天才万博のファンに向けて、「まだ迷っていて、本決まりではありませんが、今のところ、この方向で行こうかと思っています」という配信をしてくれたんですね。

ファンに相談する形で。



その中で、「一階スタンド席を、全て、テーブル席にして、今年はディナーショー形式でやろうかと思っています」という発表があったんです。

これにより、会場に入れるお客さんは４分の１程度になって、新型コロナウイルス対策のガイドラインを守ることができて、密を避けることができる。

でもって、今持っている一階スタンド席のチケット（３５００円）は「LIVE配信の閲覧チケット」に代わって、当日、「それでも会場のテーブル席（ディナー席）で観たい」という方は、追加で「ディナー席チケットを購入する」という形です。

「ディナー席チケット」が購入できるのは、「一階スタンド席のチケットを持っている人に限る」というのと、「LIVE配信には興味が無い人にはチケットの返金対応します」という条件付き。



僕個人的には、コロナの乗り越え方として、ほぼほぼ完璧な打ち手だと思ったのですが、配信のコメント欄を見ていると、この判断に不満を持っている人がチョコチョコいたんです。

「なんで、会場で観るのに、追加でお金を払わなきゃいけないんだ。テーブル席を売るにしても、一旦、全員払い戻しをしろ！」というのが彼らの言い分です。

おそらく第一希望が絶たれて、カーッとなっちゃったんだろ思うのですが、そんなこと言ったら、コロナ禍は全員、第一希望あ絶たれているわけで、その中で、最高の代替案を探っているわけです。



僕は、彼らのクレームが不思議で仕方がなくて、「とにかく、チケットは一旦全て払い戻しをして、あらためてテーブル席を売れ」って、運営からすると、「別にいいけど、それをしたら、損をするのは、テーブル席を買えなくなるかもしれない貴方ですよ」ということだと思うんですね。

いやだって、ディナーショーとなると、自分用のテーブルがあって、椅子があって、食事があるわけで、当然、スタンディング席からは値段は上がるわけじゃないですか？

でも、今回の判断だと、「すでにスタンディングチケットを持っている人」を対象にディナー席を販売するわけで、これは二重課金でも何でもなくて、本来のディナー席の値段からスタンディングチケット料金分は削られるわけじゃないですか？



言ってること、伝わってます？



……つまり、今回の運営の判断で、すでにチケットを買っていたお客さんが損をすることなんて一つもないんです。

納得がいかない点があるとするのであれば、「LIVE配信の閲覧権」の値段が、一階スタンディングチケットの３５００円という点ぐらい？

でも、そこに納得が行かなければ「返金対応」もしてくれるというのです。



僕は見事な判断だと思ったのですが、感情にまかせて、ここにクレームを入れる人がいる。



でね、運営がそのクレームを受け入れて、「じゃあ、分かりました。お望み通り、チケットは全員一旦払い戻し」としてしまうと、フラットに戻るわけだから、たとえばディナー席の値段があのままだと「６５００円」だったところが、「１万円」になり、加えて、その「ディナー席」が手に入るかどうかも分からない。

　
前までなら、「スタンディングチケットを持っている人」だけが、「ディナー席」の購入権利を持っていたんだけど、今度はそうではなくなって、「ディナー席」の購入対象者が全員になるので、より、チケットは手に入りづらくなる。

　
で、チケットが手に入らなくて、「それでも見たいから」となったら、結局、「LIVE配信のチケット」を購入することになるわけで…そもそも、誰が得をする為のクレームだったの？という話じゃないですか。

少なくとも、クレームを入れた本人は損をしている。



勿論、これは一昨日の時点での、まだ本決まりになる前のやりとりなので、その後、どうなったかは知りませんし、運営からの判断を待っているところですが……こういった感じで、「感情にまかせてクレームを入れたけれども、そのクレームが採用されたら、自分が損をする」ということって、往々にあると思っています。

僕は自分もエンタメサービスを提供する側なので分かるのですが、サービス提供者は「お客さんから長く愛される」ということが一番最初にあるので、そうなってくると、何かトラブルがあった場合は、「どうすれば、お客さんの損を減らせるか？」を皆、結構本気で考えています。

お客さんから搾取するようなサービスが、短命であることを皆、知っているので。



今回の「なんで追加でお金を払わなアカンねん」のクレームの根底には、「ちょっとズルしようとしているに違いない」という思い込みがあると思うのですが、お客さんに愛される前提で動いている人は、そんなことはしません。

そんなことをしたら、長期的に見て、自分が損するんだもん。



なので、今後、カーッとなっちゃって、「クレームを入れてやろう！」と思った時は、一旦、今日の話を思い返してください。

そのクレームが採用されたら、自分が損をする確率って、メチャクチャ高いので、気をつけてみてください。




▼西野亮廣の最新のエンタメビジネスに関する記事(1記事=2000~3000文字)が毎朝読めるのはオンラインサロン(ほぼメルマガ)はコチラ↓
https://salon.jp/nishino

▼Instagram版はコチラ↓
https://nishino73.thebase.in/items/25497065

━━━
２０２０年１２月２５日公開！
映画『えんとつ町のプペル』

▼オンラインムビチケ（特典付き）の購入はこちら↓
https://mvtk.jp/Film/070395
[people who leave their emotions and complain and reduce their own share]

We will start with our annual update report, but currently, we are looking for a crowdfunding ′′ Silkht ′′ in the crowdfunding ′′ Silkht ′′ and the participants of the ′′ Nishino Ryo Online Lecture ~ Marketing course [Advanced Edition]~" are 3300 I've breached my name.

(※ the participation of the lecture is here ↓)
https://silkhat.yoshimoto.co.jp/projects/2158

　
The remarkable thing is that ′′ the growth of the application of the enrollment is not stopping maybe it will finally be about 5000 people.
When I was in the middle of Corona, I held a 1 million online lecture twice, but it looks like it's going to be a scale lecture that will continue there.

I would like to talk about how to deliver things and how to get involved in people based on my own case.
If you are interested, please fly from the ′′ Silkhat ′′ project page.

→https://silkhat.yoshimoto.co.jp/projects/2158



Later, the other day, the reputation of the ′′ Cosplay Photoshoot ′′ that nishino did the freaking costume of was very good, so it was decided to be held again in Tokyo and Osaka for only 100 pairs.

Join us here → https://silkhat.yoshimoto.co.jp/projects/2206


Thank you for your kind support.

So I want to enter the chase, but today I would like to talk to you with the theme of ′′ people who leave it to emotions and put a complaint and reduce their share,"


I think it's better to talk to you with a specific example, so i want to talk to you from the angle, but I'm not completely following it, so I'd like to wait for the official announcement of the accurate information, but every year, 5 days in a row at the end of the year, we are having a music festival called ′′ Genius Expo ′′

I'm not a performer, but as a customer, I'm going to have a attendance award from the beginning of the festival.

Every year, I will definitely save the schedule for the ′′ Genius Expo ′′ and anyway, I've been working hard for 1 years for this day.
Of course, this year too.



Anyway, it's a fun space, and this festival is interesting," it's not attracting with performers,"

Every year, most customers carry their feet to the venue without knowing who will be performing.
In other words, in the ′′ festival itself," more specifically, there is a fan in that space.

The only thing I know is ′′ every year, nishino is drunk at the audience and the tickets for the music festival that I don't know who's going to be out are sold out all dates. Anyway, as far as I know, it's the most fun music festival. Music Festival or year-end party, isn't it?

If you can search for the image at ′′ Genius Expo 2019 ′′ I think the atmosphere of the venue will be transmitted.



It's a ′′ Genius Expo ′′ but it's been a long time since I've been in the middle of a long time since I've been in the middle of a long time since I've been in the middle of

I know a hundred things that people on the management site want to be held, but I have to think about protecting the safety of the customer, so I wonder what I'm going to do. I was thinking of catching it.
Because no one is bad.



So, the day before yesterday," the organizers of the ′′ Genius Expo ′′ are towards the fans of the genius expo," I'm still lost, and it's not a done, but at the moment, I'm thinking about going in this direction ′′ That's what I'm talking about.

In the form of consulting a fan.



In it, there was an announcement that ′′ I'm thinking about doing the first floor stand seat, all of them in the table seat, and this year I'm thinking about doing it in the dinner show format,"

This is how customers in the venue are about 4 minutes, and they can protect the guidelines for the new corona virus countermeasures, and they can avoid secretly.

So, the ticket for the first floor stand seat I have now (3500 yen) is on behalf of ′′ live broadcast viewing ticket ′′ on the day of the day," still, I want to watch it at the table seat (dinner seat) at the venue ′′ Is the form of ′′ Buy dinner seat tickets ′′ in addition.

′′ dinner seat tickets ′′ can be purchased," limited to those who have tickets for the first floor stand seat," for those who are not interested in live streaming, we will respond to the refund of the ticket ′′ With the condition.



I personally thought that it was almost almost almost perfect as a way to get through Corona, but looking at the comments section of the distribution, the person who was dissatisfied with this judgement was chocolate chocolate.

′′ why do I have to pay extra to watch at the venue. Even if you sell a table seat, once you get a refund!" it's their side.

I think the first hope has been cut off, and it has become a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of That's what I'm talking about.



I can't help but wonder their complaint," anyway, the tickets are all refunded, and I'm going to sell the table seat again," it's good, but if you do it, I think it's you who may not be able to buy a table seat

No, when it comes to dinner show, there's a table for yourself, there's a chair, and there's a meal, and naturally, the price is going up from the standing seat?

But in this judgement, I'm selling dinner seats for ′′ people who already have a standing ticket," and this is not a double charge, and it's a standing ticket from the price of the original dinner seat. Isn't it going to be scraped?



What you're saying is transmitted?



...... in other words, in the judgement of the operation of this time, there is no one to lose the customer who has already bought the ticket.

If there is a point that is not convincing, the price of ′′ live broadcast viewing rights ′′ is about 3500 yen for the first floor standing ticket?

But if you don't agree there, you'll be able to ′′ refund ′′



I thought it was a stunning judgement, but there are people who leave it to emotions and complain here.



So, the operation accepts the complaint," well, I understand. As you want, all the tickets are refunded," and I'm going back to the flat, so for example, the price of the dinner seat is ′′ 6500 yen ′′ when it's ′′ 1 yen ′′ And in addition, I don't even know if I can get that ′′ dinner seat ′′

　
Until before, only ′′ people who have standing tickets ′′ had the right to buy ′′ dinner seats," but this time it's gone, and I'm going to have a ′′ dinner seat ′′ to all of them. It's going to be harder to get tickets.

　
So, I can't get tickets, and I still want to see it," after all, I'm going to buy ′′ tickets for live streaming... in the first place, who's going to get a deal. A complaint to get it Was it? Isn't that a story?

At least the person who complained is losing.



Of course, this is the interaction before the day before yesterday, so I don't know what happened after that, and I'm waiting for the judgement from the operation, but...... this is how it feels," I put a complaint in my emotions, but if the complaint is adopted, I think that I will lose myself

I know that I am also the side of providing entertainment services, but the service provider is the first to say ′′ I will be loved for a long time from a customer so if you have any trouble Ha," I'm pretty seriously thinking about how to reduce the loss of the customer?"

We all know that a service that is exploited from a customer is a short life.



I think that the base of the complaint of ′′ why don't you pay money in addition," I think I'm going to be a bit of a cheat," but I'm moving on the premise of being loved by the customer. People don't do that.

If you do that, you'll see it in a long term, and you'll lose yourself.



So, in the future, I'm going to be a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of

If the complaint is adopted, the probability of losing yourself is so messed up, so be careful.




▼ an article about the latest entertainment business of ryo nishino (1 articles = 2000 to 3000 characters) can be read every morning online salon (almost mail magazine) is here ↓
https://salon.jp/nishino

▼ Instagram version is here ↓
https://nishino73.thebase.in/items/25497065

━━━
Released on December 25, 2020!
The movie in a town ′′

▼ Buy Online Bangabandhu (with perks) here ↓
https://mvtk.jp/Film/070395Translated

My sister, Michelle-Ann Iking's 3% chance of conceiving naturally was a success! Here's her story:

(My apologies as I've been overwhelmed with personal matters. I've only managed to get to my desk. So finally got around posting this).

This is the story behind my sister's pregnancy struggle and how she shared her journey over her Facebook page.

Because some may have not caught her LIVE session chat with me (https://www.facebook.com/daphneiking/videos/687743128744960/) , or read her lengthy post (as it's a private page);
she's allowed me to copy and paste it over my wall, in case you need to know more about her thought process on how AND why she focused on the 3% success probability. Read on.

-------------------------------------------

Posted 10th May 2020.
FB Credit: Michelle-Ann Iking

A week ago today I celebrated becoming a mother to our second, long awaited child.

Please forgive this mother's LONG (self-indulgent) post, journalling what this significant milestone has meant for her personally, for her own fallible memory's sake as well as maybe to share one day with her son.

If all you were wondering was whether I had delivered and if mum and bub are OK, please be assured the whole KkLM family are thriving tremendously, and continue scrolling right along your Newsfeed 😁.

OUR 3% MIRACLE

All babies are miracles... and none more so than our precious Kiaen Aaryan (pronounced KEY-n AR-yen), whose name derives from Sanskrit origins meaning:

Grace of God
Spiritual
Kind
Benevolent

...words espousing the gratitude Kishore and I feel for Kiaen's arrival as our "3% miracle".

He was conceived, naturally, after 3 years of Kishore and I hoping, praying and 'endeavoring'... and only couples for whom the objective switches from pure recreation to (elusive) procreation will understand how this is less fun than it sounds ...

3 years during which time we had consensus from 3 different doctors that we, particularly I (with my advancing age etc etc) had only a 3% chance of natural conception and that our best hope for a sibling for our firstborn, Lara Anoushka, was via IVF.

Lara herself was an 'intervention baby', being one of the 20% of babies successfully conceived through the less intrusive IUI process, after a year and a half of trying naturally and already being told then my age was a debilitating factor.

We had tried another round of IUI for her sibling in 2017 when Lara was a year old. And that time we fell into the ranks of the 80% of would-be parents for whom it would be an exercise in futility... who would go home, comfort each other as best they could, while individually masking their own personal disappointment... hoping for the best, 'the next time around'...

So the improbability ratio of 97% against natural conception of our second baby, as concurred by the combined opinion of 3 medical professionals, was a very real, very daunting figure for us to have to mentally deal with.

Deep, DEEP, down in my heart however, though I had many a day of doubt... I kept a core kernel of faith that somehow, I would again experience the privilege of pregnancy, and again, have a chance at childbirth.

And so, the optimist in me would tell myself, "Well, there have to be people who fall in the 3% bucket... why shouldn't WE be part of the 3%?"

Those who know me well, understand my belief in the Law of Attraction, the philosophy of focusing your mind only on what you want to attract, not on what you don't want, and so even as Kishore and I prepared to go into significant personal debt to attempt IVF in the 2nd half of 2019, I marshalled a last ditch effort to hone in on that 3% chance of natural conception... through research coming across fertility supplements that I ordered from the US and sent to a friend in Singapore to redirect to me because the supplier would not deliver to Malaysia.

I made us as a couple take the supplements in the 3 month 'priming period' in the lead up to the IVF procedure - preconditioning our bodies for optimum results, if you will.

At the same time, I had invested in a sophisticated fertility monitor, with probes and digital sensors for daily tracking of saliva and other unmentionable fluid samples, designed to pinpoint with chemical accuracy my state of fertility on any given day.

(UPDATE: For those interested - I obtained the supplements and Ovacue Fertility Monitor from https://www.fairhavenhealth.com/. Though I had my supplies delivered to a friend in Singapore, and redirected to me here since the US site does not deliver to Malaysia, there are local distributors for these products, you will just have to research the trustworthiness of the vendors yourself...)

I had set an intention - in the 3 months of pre-IVF priming, I would consume what seemed like a pharmacy's worth of supplements, and track fertility religiously... in hopes that somehow, within the 3 month priming period, we would conceive naturally and potentially save ourselves a down payment on a new property... and this was just a projection on financial costs of IVF, not even considering the physical, emotional and mental toll it involves, with no guarantee of a baby at the end of it all...

It was a continuation of an intention embedded even with my first pregnancy, where all the big ticket baby items were consciously purchased for use by a future sibling, in gender neutral colours, in hopes that sibling would be a brother "for a balanced pair", though of course any healthy child would be a welcome blessing.

It was a very conscious determination to always skew my thoughts in service of what the end objective was. For example, when 3+year old Lara would innocently express impatience at not yet having a sibling, at one point suggesting that since we were "taking too long to give her a baby brother/sister", perhaps we should just "go buy a baby from a shop", instead of getting defensive or berating the baby that she herself was, we enlisted Lara's help to pray for her sibling... so in any place of worship, or sacred ground of any kind that we passed thereon, Lara would stop, close her eyes, bow her small head and place her tiny hands together in prayer, reciting earnestly, "Please God, please give me a baby brother or baby sister."

After months and months of watching Lara do this, in the constancy of her childlike chant, Kishore started feeling the pressure of possibly disappointing Lara if her prayer was not answered. Whereas for me, Lara's recitation of her simple wish became like a strengthening mantra, our collective intention imbued with greater power with each repetition, and the goal of a sibling kept very much in the forefront of our minds (hence our calling Lara our 'project manager' in this endeavour).

And somehow in the 2nd month of that 3 month period, a positive + sign appeared on one of the home pregnancy tests I had grown accustomed to taking - my version of the lottery tickets others keep buying in hopes of hitting the jackpot, with all the cyclical anticipation and more often than not, disappointment, that entails...

This time however I was not disappointed.

With God's Grace, (hence 'Kiaen', a variation of 'Kiaan' which means 'Grace of God'), my focus on our joining the ranks of the 3% had materialised.

It seems poetic then, that Kiaen chose to make his appearance on the 3rd May, ironically the same date that his paternal great-grandfather departed this world for the next... such that in the combined words of Kishore and his father Kai Vello Suppiah,

"The 1st generation Suppiah left on 3rd May and the 4th generation Suppiah arrived on 3rd May after 41yrs...
One leaves, another comes, the legacy lives on..."

***

KIAEN AARYAN SUPPIAH'S BIRTH STORY

On Sunday 3rd May, I was 40 weeks and 5 days pregnant.

The baby was, in my mind, very UN-fashionably late past his due date of 29th April, so as much as I had willed and 'manifested' the privilege of pregnancy, to say I was keen to be done with it all was an understatement.

In the weeks leading to up to my full term, I had experienced increasingly intense Braxton-Hicks 'practice contractions' - annoying for me for the discomfort involved, stressful for Kishore who was on tenterhooks with the false alarms, on constant alert for when we would actually need to leave home for the hospital.

Having become a Hypnobirthing student and advocate from my first pregnancy with Lara, and thus being equipped with
(1) a lack of fear about childbirth in general and
(2) a basic understanding of how all the sensations I would experience fit into the big picture of my body bringing our baby closer to us,
I was less stressed - content to wait for the baby to be "fully cooked" and come out whenever he was ready... though I wouldn't have minded at all if the cooking time ended sooner, rather than later.

With Lara, I had been somewhat 'forced' into an induced labour, even though she was not yet due, and that had resulted in a 5 DAY LABOUR, a Birth Story for another post, so I was not inclined to chemically induce labour, even though I was assured that for second time mothers, it would be 'much faster and easier'...

That morning, I had a hunch *maybe* that day was the day, because in contrast to previous weeks' sensations of tightening, pressure and even spasms that were concentrated in the front of my abdomen and occasionally shot through my sides and legs, I felt period - like cramping in my lower back which I had not felt before throughout the pregnancy.

It was about 8am in the morning then, and my 'surges' were still relatively mild ('surges' being Hypnobirthing - speak for 'contractions', designed to frame them with the more positive connotations needed to counteract common language in which childbirth is presented as something that is unequivocally painful and traumatic, instead of the miraculous, powerful and natural phenomenon it actually is).

I recall (masochistically?) entertaining the thought of opting NOT to have an epidural JUST TO SEE WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE...

I figured this would be the last time I would be pregnant and so it would be my 'last chance' to experience 'drug free labour' which, apart from the health benefits for baby and mother, might be *interesting* in a way that people who are curious about what getting a tattoo and skydiving and bungee jumping are like, might find these *interesting*...even knowing there will be pain and risk involved...

Since I have tried tattoos and skydiving (unfortunately not being able to squeeze in bungee-jumping while my life was purely my own to risk at no dependents' possible detriment) a similar curiousity about a no-epidural labour was on my mind...

In the absence of other signs of the onset of labour (like 'bloody show' or my waters breaking), I wanted to wait until the surges were coming every few minutes before we actually left the house for the hospital, not wanting to be one of those couples who rushed in too early and had interminable waits for the next stage in unfamiliar, clinical surroundings and/or were made to go home in an anti-climatic manner.

I was even calm enough through my surges to have the presence of mind to wash and blowdry my hair, knowing if I did deliver soon I would not be allowed this luxury for a while.

Around 9am I asked Kishore to prep for Lara and himself to be dressed and breakfasted so we could head to hospital soon, while I sent messages to family members on both sides informing them 'today might be the day.'

My mother, who had briefly served as a midwife before going back into general nursing and then becoming a nursing tutor, prophetically stated that if what I was experiencing was true labour, "the baby would be out by noon".

The pace in which my surges grew closer together was surprisingly quicker than I expected; and while I asked Lara to "Hurry up with breakfast" with only a tad more urgency than we normally tell her to do, little Missy being prone to dilly-dallying at meals, I probably freaked Kishore out when about 930am onwards, I had to instinctively get on my hands and knees a couple of times, eyes closed, trying to practice the Hypnobirthing breathing techniques I had revised to help along the process of my body birthing our child into the world.

I recall him saying a bit frantically as I knelt at our front door, doubled over as he waited for Lara to complete something or other, "Lara hurry up! Can't you see Mama is in so much pain and you are taking your own sweet time??!!"

SIDETRACK: Just the night before, Lara and I had watched a TV show in which a woman gave birth with the usual histrionics accompanying pop culture depictions of labour.

Lara watched the scene, transfixed.

I told her, simply and matter-of-factly, "That's what Mama has to do to get baby brother out Lara, and that's what I had to do for you also."

In most of interactions with my daughter, I have sought to equip her to face life's situations with calmness, truthful common sense, and ideally a minimum of drama.

Those who know the dramatic diva that Lara can be will know that this is a work-in-progress, but her response to me that night showed me some of my 'teachings' were sinking in:

She looked at me unfazed, "But Mama," she said. "You won't cry and scream like that lady, right? You will be BRAVE and stay calm, right?"
#nopressure.

So as we prepped to leave for the hospital I did indeed attempt to be that role model of calm for her, asking her only for her help in keeping very quiet,
"Because Mama needs to focus on bringing baby brother out and she needs quiet to concentrate...".

As we left the house at 10.11am, I texted Kishore's sister Geetha to please prep to pick up Lara from the hospital, and was grateful Kishore had the foresight to ask our gynae to prepare a letter for Geetha to show any police roadblocks between my in-laws' home in Subang Jaya and the hospital in Bangsar, this all happening under the Movement Control Order (MCO).

To Lara's credit, in the journey over to the hospital, she - probably sensing the gravity of the situation, sat very quietly in her seat at the back, and the silence was punctuated only by my occasional deep intakes of breath and some variation of my Ohmmm-like moans when the sensations were at their height.

By the time we got to Pantai Hospital at around 10.30am, my surges were strong enough I requested a wheelchair to assist me in getting to the labour ward, as I did not trust my own legs to support me... and Kishore would have to wait until Geetha had arrived to take Lara back to my in-laws' house before he himself could go up.

I slumped in the wheelchair and was wheeled up to the labour room with my eyes closed the whole time, trying to handle my surges.

I didn't even look up to see the attendant who pushed me... but did make the effort to thank him sincerely when he handed me over, with what seemed like a palpable sense of relief on his part, to the labour ward nurses.

The nurse attending me at Pantai was calm, steady and efficient. I answered some questions and changed into my labour gown while waiting for Kishore to come up, all the while managing the increasingly intense surges with my rusty Hypnobirthing breathing techniques.

By the time Kishore joined me at around 11am (I know these timings based on the timestamps of the 'WhatsApp live feed' of messages Kishore sent to his family), I was asking the nurse on duty, "How soon can I get an epidural??" thinking what crazy woman thought she could do this without drugs???!!!

The nurse checked my cervix dilation, I saw her bloodied glove indicating my mucous plug had dislodged, and she told me, "Well you are already at 7cm (which, for the uninitiated, is 70% of the way to the 10cm dilation needed for birthing), you are really doing well, if you made it this far without any drugs, if can you try and manage without it... I suspect within 2 hours or less you will deliver your baby and since it will take about that time for the anaesthesiologist to be called, epidural to be administered and kick in... it might all be for nothing... but of course the decision is completely up to you... "

So there I was, super torn, should I risk the sensations becoming worse... or risk the epidural becoming a waste?? And of course I was trying to decide this as my labour surges were coming at me stronger and stronger...

I was in such a dilemma...because as a 'recovering approval junkie' there was also a silly element of approval-seeking involved, ("The nurse thinks I can do this without drugs... maybe I CAN do this without drugs... Yay me!") mixed with that element of curiosity I mentioned earlier ("What if I actually CAN do this without drugs... plenty of other women have done it all over the world since time immemorial.. no big deal, how bad can it be...??") so then I thought I would use the financial aspect to be the 'tiebreaker' in my decision making...

I asked the nurse how much an epidural would cost and when she replied "Around MYR1.5k", I still remember Kishore's incredulous face as I asked the question, i.e."Seriously babe, you are gonna think about money right now? If you need the epidural TAKE IT, don't worry about the money!!!"... and while we are not rich by any stretch of the imagination, thankfully RM1.5k is not a quantum that made me swing towards a decision to "better save the money"...

So in the end, I guess my curiosity won out, and I turned down the epidural "just to see what it would be like and if I had it in me" (in addition of course to avoiding the side effects of any drugs introduced into my and the baby's body).

My labour occuring in the time of coronavirus, it was protocol for me to have a COVID19 test done, so the medical staff could apply the necessary precautions. I had heard from a friend Sharon Ruba that the test procedure was uncomfortable, so when the nurse came with the test kit as I was starting another surge, I asked, "Please can I just finish this surge before I do the test?" as I really didn't think I could multitask tackling multiple uncomfortable sensations in one go.

The COVID19 test involved what felt like a looong, skinny cotton bud being inserted into one nostril... I definitely felt more than a tickle as it went in and up, being told to take deep breaths by the nurse. Then she asked me to "Try to swallow" and I felt it go into my nasal cavities where I didn't think anything could go any further, but was proven wrong when she asked me to swallow again and the swab was probed even deeper. Then she warned me there would be some slight discomfort as she prepared to collect a sample... but at that point all I could think about was:

(i) I really don't have much of a choice
(ii) please let this be over before my next surge kicks in
(iii) if all the people breaking the MCO rules knew what it feels like to do this test maybe they won't put themselves at risk of the need to perform one...

In full disclosure as I was transferred into the actual delivery room at some point after 11am, another nurse offered me 'laughing gas' to ostensibly take some of the edge off... I took the self-operated breathing nozzle passed to me but don't recall it making any difference to my sensations..so didn't use it much as it seemed pretty pointless.

I recall some measure of relief when I heard my gynae Dr. Paul entering the room, greeting Kishore and me, and telling us it was going well and it wouldn't be long now and he would see us again shortly.

From my previous labour with Lara I knew the midwives pretty much take you 90% of the way through the labour and when the Dr is called in you are really at the home stretch, so was very relieved to hear his voice though knowing he would leave and come back later meant it wasn't quite over yet.

I do remember realising when I had crossed the Thinning and Opening Phase of labour to the Birthing Phase, by the change in sensations... it is still amazing to me that as the Hypnobirthing book mentioned, having this knowledge I was instinctively able to switch breathing techniques for the next stage of labour .

Was my opting against epidural the right choice for me?

Overall? Yes.

Don't get me wrong.

I *almost* regretted the decision several times during active labour... especially when I felt my body being taken over by an overwhelming compulsion to push that did not seem conscious and was accompanied by involuntary gutteral moans where I literally just thought to myself, "I surrender, God do with me what you will..." (super dramatic I know but VERY real at the time...).

I think I experienced 3-4 such natural explusive reflexes (?), rhythmically pushing the baby down the birth path, one of which was accompanied by what felt like a swoosh of water coming out of a hose with a diameter the size of a golf ball... this was when I realised my water had finally broken...

The nurses kept instructing me to do different things, to keep breathing, to move to my side, then to move to the middle, to raise my feet... and when I didn't comply, Kishore (who was with me throughout both my labours) tried to help them by repeating the instructions prefaced with "Sayang..." but I basically ignored all the intructions because I felt I had no capacity to direct any part of my body to do anything and someone else would have to physically manoeuvre that body part themselves.

When I heard Dr. Paul's voice again and the flurry of commotion surrounding his presence, I knew the time was close... and when I heard the nurse say to Kishore, "Sir, these are your gloves, for when you cut the baby's cord", it was music to my ears...

I'm very, VERY grateful Kiaen slid out after maybe the 4th of those involuntary pushes... the wave of RELIEF when he came out so quickly... it still boggles my mind that my mother was essentially right and as his birth time was 12.02pm, it was *only* about 1.5 hours between our arrival at the hospital and his arrival into the world.

Kiaen was placed on my chest for skin to skin bonding and remained there for a considerable time.

For our short stay in the hospital he would be with us in my maternity ward number C327... another trivially serendipitous sign for me because he was born on the 3rd (May) and our wedding anniversary is 27th (July).

I was discharged the following day 4th May at about 5.30pm, after I got an all clear on COVID19 and a paediatric surgeon did a small procedure on Kiaen to address a tongue-tie that would affect his breastfeeding latch... making the entire duration of our stay about 31 hours.

I have taken the time and effort to record all this down so that whenever life's challenges threaten to get me down I can remind myself, "Ignore the 97% failure probability, focus on the 3% success probability".

Also that the human condition is miraculous and it is such a privilege to experience it.

To our son Kiaen Aaryan, thank you for coming into our lives and choosing us as your parents.

Even though Papa and I are both zombies trying to settle into a night time feeding routine with you, I look forward to spending not only all future Mother's Days, but every day, with you and your Akka...

And last but not least, to my husband Kishore...without whom none of this would be possible - we did it sayang, I love you ❤️

Photo credit: Stayhome session with Samantha Yong Photography (http://samanthayong.com/)